sadface in Bittersweet

I made a mistake and the awards arent till tomorrow night.
I did some trials for some updos. Oh god its almost hilarious. I was crying it was so bad.
Not only do i have babyfine hair but its so thin. I dried in curls with a curling agent and they fell out before I was 2 hours into work. I couldent sleep half the night and no go.
So I tried to do a french twist and I dont have enough hair. Literally. Its down to the upper middle of my back. Not enough hair. I tried this funky twist tuck thing. My hair is so thin it pulls right out instead of tucking inside itself. So then I tried to use one of the bun wraps I got, the smallest one I got. Its small. My hair is SO thin, I cant even cover the entire donut.
I really did start crying. Im going to just pin it to one side I guess. I got corkscrew hair pins to pin it back and my hair is SO fine, They fall out. Its so bad.
Ill need to wash it tonight and maybe ill do a double dutch braids for work and then it will hold some wave for a bit for the event. How in the hell could it curl a year ago and now nothing.
Im finishing knitting a wrap. Its a faux fur shawl. I was going to buy one. But ran out of time, so I got yarn on saturday and im knitting a faux fur shawl/scarf. At least that looks pretty. Bonus because I refuse to wear a coat with a ballgown.

I really am very sad about my hair. It looks terrible. Im surprised I cant see bald patches, But i bet they are in there. Its totally thinning out bad on top. I bet its just as bad throughout… Maybe I should cut it off.

T says maybe dye it and buy extensions to match. Something I can barrette in seeing I was told my hair is now too thin and fine to do most extension types. Its too weak. It snaps off constantly. So today Despite sleeping in 5 buns to try to give some curl. It fell out almost instantly and i have a ton of new breakage. I slept with the buns in a satin bonnet on a satin pillow so there wouldent be friction.

This makes me feel so ugly too. Like really ugly. The color is pretty. The brown and white streaks… But i feel so ugly. T says I should get off work early come home and get ready…
I get off at 4. pick the boys up from after school events at 4 30. The event starts at 6 pm. We need to leave by 5 30. an hr is enough time to put on the dress and some makeup… Or i leave early, come home, get half ready, go get the kid and finish. Maybe, We will see.

It dosent help that out of nowhere I got three big ass pimples either. Ugh.