Pointed in Current Events

I’m battling with myself right now. I have a tendency to get fixated on things. I am currently fixated on the gym. I have better things to do right now and every fibre of my being wants me to hide from those responsibilities at the gym. This is just my latest and gayest form of procrastination. I will find balance.

Yesterday my team had a meeting with the district HR and manager. My supervisor’s boss. Apparently, this is a thing. It’s basically just a big bitch fest. The HR was very passive-aggressive. Actually, she was crazy subtle but my mind operates in the subtext. If that makes sense. I was the most engaged and she made it a point to explain, in a joking way, that she isn’t interested in hearing from somebody in their honeymoon phase. I’ve only been there since August. I didn’t hold back after that. I brought up how inverted it is that they have accountability coming from the ground up and not from the top down. I used their lack of keeping the store safe as an example and she gave a little “We still have a store that we need to run.” That just proved my point.

Speaking of proving points. Somebody commented on a FB post of mine. The post was about how mainstream medical science fails miserably at complying with scientific method. I was bored while doing my coffee enema so I decided to polarize with him. I’ve had this debate many times before and they are always the exact same. He even called me brainwashed when I can literally pull up every commenter saying the exact same things. All the while, they fail miserably to back up their argument, let alone undermine mine. Mine is undefeated, I just have to contend with others’ cognitive dissonance. People who believe in germ theory are dangerously deranged. They are a hazard to themselves. It’s hard to witness. I’ve been there, of course. Questioning science is science. What they have is a dogma but they are too indentured to see that they are in a “medical religion”.

Speaking of self-harm, I am really feeling strung out. After this weekend I am taking a rest. A long break from socializing.

I digressed from what I wanted to write about. After our meeting at work, I got to talk to the district HR about my supervisor at the other location. I am to return there after my temp position is over. I have many entries about it. I don’t even have the energy to bring it up right now. Long story short, my supervisor is going to great lengths to protect her favourite employee. The employee who I had drama with. I talked to my supervisor about this and she said that she would forward it to the district HR and she never did. This was to protect her little pet. Her little pet and I had to sign NDAs and no-retaliation letters. She broke through those and told everyone about her version of events and I am not allowed to defend myself. I can’t get away with anything. I told my supervisor multiple times that this happened and she did not do anything. I don’t know what will come of telling the district HR about this. This was eating me alive before I transferred to the location I’m at right now.

My birth chart gives me an overdose of Scorpio energy. A.) I get fixated and B.) I can’t let things go.

Anyway, I am just going to try some more of that CBD oil and study for the rest of the evening. This cabin weekend has me feeling a little nervous. I can flip the context in my mind and just be excited about it. It’s the same physical experience.

Speaking of physical experience, somebody mentioned me hitting my G-spot finally. It was a euphemism but it was also true, so to speak. I have been complaining about being unable to feel my orgasms. I did manage to get the full experience again. Though it was just once. Mind you, mine can last as long as I want it to. I think I built a tolerance. Did I mention that I am overdosing on Scorpio energy? C.) Sexual energy is my fuel source.

Speaking of fuel source, I need to get my life right and figure things out. My mind is trying to restructure and expand but I don’t know where to put my energy. Where is spiritual guidance when I need it?

Speaking of spiritual guidance. I was thinking about spirituality, as people understand it in the West. The truth of the matter is matter itself. Across history and culture, we used the universal language and system of astrology to teach the evolution of matter and consciousness, which are the same thing. Spiritual practices were simply scientific methods. The colonizers brutally destroyed that knowledge and now we have all these white shamans selling it back to us. Selling it back defiled and deformed. That is just a random angle to look at it. I challenged myself to look at it all from a brand new angle and that’s what my fragile little mind came up with. Whatever. The truth of all truths is our shared heritage. I can easily look at it as them trying to give it back. This science is not that deep but it is contemporary. In this turning of the age, it will be modernized. It is called Syncretism which is today what Gnosticism was in its time. In case anyone wants to discover our heritage and what the bottom of the rabbit hole has to teach:

Santos Bonacci (Mr. Astrotheology) The Godfather of the current movement.
Julios Castro (DvineBeingBeingDivine) Author of the Hearth Book.
Revival Of Wisdom
These are the best resources, they bring it all down to earth. This Pisces age energy is on its way out.

K! I need to go get my shit together.