Friday in Me Being Me

My favorite day of the week. But today I need to go to the dentist and get a needle stuck in my mouth so I can have my cavities filled. I am told they are small so it shouldn’t take too long. And then I will be frozen till I at least get hiome if all goes acording to plan. it’s been a long while since I have had cavities so I know the first poke will not be fun. I am suppose to be there for an hour and a half so it;+’s a good chunk of time. Then I need to run an arrand while I am in the city and then I can head home. I just hope it’s not raining when I am comming home because I will look like a drowned rat. And then I will just chill when I get home and hopefully I will be able to drink some coffee and won’t have issues swalling the coffee. Having a frozen mouth is not fun because it feels likes your cheeks are swollen and you talk like you have a mouth full of marbles in your mouth and you have to be careful you don’t bite the side of your cheek cause that hirts like hell if you do. So that will be my excitiment for today. And thank-fully dinner is left overs so I don’t have to make a mess in the kitchen.

Onto something else....

I feel like this is not my home because the slum lord has told me this is her house and she can do what she wants. So I have decided that everything she wants me to do or not do I will dispobey her and do what I want. I have stopped cleaning her stuff like the counters, the fridge and the stove and the floors and the bathroom because I don’t see why I should keep things clean if I have no rights here or have the right to have things fixed and be happy. Every day I wake up I am more deperessed because everythingis still the same and nothing is looking any better. The wooden floor in the hall still has brown and black lines on it and the Vanity still smells because whatever is used to clean it to get the smell out isn’t working and the black in the laundry room is still on the wall and smells more days then not. And the crack in the cement in the laundry room is getting longer and wider so everything is getting worse instead of better. I have realized for the smell to be gone the source where the smell is comming from has to be fixed and that won’t happen becasue she is too cheap and thinks me being unhappy will get me out a lot faster. But I can’t move out so fast because there is no place for me to move out and the cost is just too much for me and hubby. So I am in the process of saving up fpr a moving company and for first and last months rent plus the damage deposit. And I am sure I will have new bills I will have to pay so that cost to set them up will take some cash put of my pocket.
But when I leave this place it’s going to be such a mess that no one else will be able to live here and things will be missing because she wouldn’t replace them so I did and now she will have to get them herself when I am gone.
I just don’t care anymore what she wants me to do or not do becasue she won’t do what I am asking and it’s against the law that she isn’t fixing these things. When I first told her it wouldn’t have cost that much to fix but now it’s going to be the nax and she just won’t do it.
She says this house is too old and not worth fixing and I was thinking if this same thought were to be towards people I figure once you reach the age of 75 you should just die because you are too old to be fixed and it’s just too expensive to have things that make you feel good again. I mean this house is only 54 years old and I don’t think it’s too old to fix in fact in a matter of years it will be a heritage type of home and worth a lot more money. And I figure if there was some maintance to this place it would sell for a lot more. But she doesn’t see that.
This is the very first place I have rented where nothing gets fixed and I have always had a good realtionship with all of my landlords and when things needed to be fixed they got fixed in a timely manner. There was one place that had a cock roach issue and when I needed them to be sorayed they were sparayed as many times as I needed them to be and then there was the time I had an issue with my water tank and that got replaced right away and I didn’t have to wait for months. And when my fridge needed a part it got it so it would close right. And there was a lot of other stuff fixed and I was happy and I kept my home clean and I was treated with repsect and dignity. Here I am not all because of the mighty dollar and that is more important not to spend then my well being. I had decided that I am not going to do anything here to maintain anything except what I brought here and what I have bought in recent years. Everything else I just don’t care. And if the slum lord dies then too bad for her.

Onto something else....

Well, I need to stop here…

Do have a great day..
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated October 20, 2023