Jekyll and Hyde in Current Events

Ever just get set off? I’m practically raging right now. All I want to do is throat-punch somebody. Every little thing that isn’t a big deal is just adding fuel to the fire.

What set me off was my gym. Heaven forbid somebody forgets their water in the car and needs to go back for it. My card was locked for 30 minutes after scanning in. I had all of my stuff with me, thank gods. It’s staffing hours but nobody was answering the phone. This was not how my evening was supposed to go.

I was thinking about the gym all day and psyching myself up to go during peak hours. It didn’t look crazy packed when I was in there. However, all of the changing rooms were full and there was a lineup. How fucking long does a bitch need to change clothes?! Like really. Come to think of it, the machines were busy. The racks and cables were busy. The meatheads were conglomerated. Sleeveless of course. They were probably harmless. I just hate that see-me energy. When you know people are there to be seen. They are the spectacle, they are the moment. Literally though, they were probably harmless I’m just a judgemental cunt.

You are what you eat.

I don’t want to go back. The plan was to only endure rush hour in this end of town once. It’s New New Deli and New Manila up in here. We literally have flashing signs that read High Collision Area.

On Saturday, I ordered a planet-based chicken burger and poutine from Leopald’s Tavern for pick-up. They gave it away to some Skip The Dishes driver. I ended up waiting 36 minutes for them to remake it. They didn’t offer me any compensation. They gave me a coupon for free wings. I don’t eat meat, what the fuck am I supposed to do with it? I sat alone in that loud and busy pub surrounded by the exact kind of people I avoid.

I sassed some woman while I was at the market with my grandmother. My grandmother is oblivious to her surroundings. She always gets in the way with her walker. I try to direct her when I can. Some woman, who could have taken a different route in the aisle pulled right up with the intention to come between us which wasn’t possible. Queen Karen needs to get through Grandma, she’s oh so important. I was the Karen in that situation.

I was really feeling spread thin today while taking my grandmother out. I wanted to be at the gym. I work full-time, I have school, and helping my mother out with this is not a big deal but I wanted to be returning from the gym right now and then be studying. I have my side quests on the back burner as well. It’s like I just can’t find time when I need it.

Then there is me typing away on a computer that can’t hold an internet connection! I can’t afford to buy myself a new computer. I can’t afford anything. How do people just afford things?! I’m pretty minimal, I don’t have kids. I split the rent with a roommate. I do have a car and phone. My rent is pretty cheap. I make more than minimum wage. I’m not drowning but I can’t get ahead either. By the time I have anything significant saved up my car will break down.

This VPN is slowing everything down. It’s giving dial-up realness. I haven’t explored to see what kind of access I have on my streaming services yet but it does not work with my crave. Nothing will play while it is connected.

I thought complaining on PB was going to make it all better but it didn’t. Just made me extra sulky. Things could be way worse by a lot. Ugh, I wouldn’t have ruined my sleep tonight with a cup of coffee had I known I wouldn’t be at the gym. I’ll just work out in my room. I’m too pissed to concentrate on my studies. I’ll go ham in my room and let let this rage burnout. Maybe I’ll wake up at 3 A.M. and be that pyscho who goes to the gym, ya? My shift is at 5:30 A.M. I’ll have time for a nap after work lol. I’m hurting this weekend and won’t have a gym which seems to be all I want to do. I get to lose myself there. The way I used to disappear on a dancefloor. Maybe I should take up boxing.