Shadows in Current Events

My depression did not make an appearance today. I think it is behind me now. School was my trigger and even though I was dreading my class for this evening, my depression did not bubble up to the surface.

Class was a bit rough today. The teacher surprised us with an assignment that she wanted us to hand in by the end of the class. Oh the cheek, the nerve, the audacity, the gull & the gumption! I was not ready, though I should have been. That’s on me. I was remembering how hard the physics class was because of the math. I dropped it and the math here feels harder in my chem class. The philosophy of chemistry is easy, I like it. The math? Math is my axis of evil. I need to understand the philosophy behind math. I hid in the bathroom to compose myself once I started to have an anxiety attack. Then I swallowed my pride and asked her for help. She didn’t let me hand it in with any wrong answers. I’m going to have to be needy this semester.

I was employee of the month, I was informed today. From my first month there? Not too shabby. I really do feel like I get the respect and recognition at this location that I felt I deserved at the other one. There is some tension on my team about it. It’s under the surface where nobody else can see it but me, apparently. I have Scorpio in all the right placements, for better or for worse. I’m stealing the spotlight and thunder from others. Oh well!

I am in the safety committee finally and we had our first meeting. I had a list of compliance issues with the steel, the racking and shelving. I blew them away and literally got an applause. I had a physical list and I had printed off what the standards are so they can understand what I’m talking about. They wouldn’t have much knowledge on that racking because it’s my team that is responsible for it. However, because my supervisor has such a strong boundary between the store and our team, we are not to concern ourselves about it. I have to work in the store so I’m invested.

The managers are going on a walk with me tomorrow so they can see it for themselves. They wished I hadn’t waited until the meeting to bring them all up but they don’t understand how much work that would have been for me. If they do decide to correct these issues they will need a group effort to just locate where they all are.

There is nothing else going on at the moment. Just passing time while I wait 30 mins before I can put my head down on my pillow. I showered late and I use DMSO on my scalp. DMSO is transdermal so it will leak the dyes on my pillowcase into my bloodstream. I’m weird.

Speaking of being weird, I am feeling frustrated with the weather. Not because of the geoengineering, though I should be. It’s Libra season! My favourite time of year. It’s soup season! Sweater weather! The trees are gorgeous! The air smells sweet. The bugs are dying. Saturn is heavy in my chart and it exalts in Libra!… it’s just been too warm. It needs to cap at 15°c. I’m going to regret wishing this because winter is coming. I live in one of the coldest cities on earth.

Tomorrow I am going to study hard. We do a lab on Thursday and that’s our last class before our first test next Thursday.

Last updated September 27, 2023