Talking Sh!t in Current Events

I am tired of being a big bloated bitch. Claudia pointed it out again at work today. It didn’t make me insecure, I’m still a skinny legend, but it is an issue I keep putting off. This is a known problem for vegans. I feel like I need to quit or cut back, on hybridized wheat and oats. I probably just need to chew my food.

This is going to be a little too much information but I have been trying out all of my trigger foods. What trigger? I wrote on here many moons ago that I thought I had hemorrhoids. I don’t look back so I just assumed because it fit the bill. Well, when I saw my doctor last week, it turned out that I didn’t. Not only am I a sensitive asshole, I have a sensitive asshole. Basically, it’s like a diaper rash. I need to invest in a bidet but in the meantime, I bought zinc oxide. It’s been amazing to live without the irritation. I have been trying to calibrate my gut to handle beans and legumes so that doesn’t help with the bloating.

My coffee enemas have not been going well. Since I am full-time now, I have to do it while my roommate is home. I have been doing Saturday mornings and I suppose I have been a bit shy about it. I decided to just do it today. I think I lost 5lbs. I did it twice. My stomach still feels solid and bloated but that is probably because of air. I also want to book a colonic. It will clean out all 4’ of my colon. I also looked into a kidney detox, all I got were basic cleanse smoothies. I could use more vegetables in my diet. It’s mostly all carbs. I’m thinking about fasting this weekend and then doing a week of keto.

I ordered a small hot water bottle from Amazon. I couldn’t find one anywhere. I need it to fit in my castor oil wrap. I’m going to use castor oil to try and shrink the extra nodules in my thyroid. They’re harmless, so they say. I don’t want to mess with that. Tomorrow I will book a naturopath. I will try to make it to the one out of town that my buddy John goes to. She doesn’t play germ theory or pandemic. I also ordered Cather in the Rye. It was a recommendation and it is one that I have been meaning to get around to.

I should be studying but I wasted my energy on detoxing my blood/liver. Whatever. My first test is next Thursday and I still can’t even. She will toss the lowest score out when grading the final mark. It’s the next semester that matters anyway. I’m just relieved that I didn’t experience any depression today over it all.