My Unreasonable High Standards in Current Events

I haven’t abused Prosebox with enough entries this weekend.

Out of curiosity, I decided to join a dating site or two. I might just be a horrible person. I do judge a book by its cover and I’ll explain why.

Health is beauty. It’s not just our genetic status on display, our commitment to ourselves is on full display as well. If somebody has yellow and a lot of missing teeth, I know that they have poor oral hygiene. I apply that principle to everything. I’m not interested in somebody that doesn’t respect themselves. Some things I can overlook but there are just some that I can’t. You either love yourself or don’t. The what you see is what you get people are for somebody else. I want my partner to show up correct. I don’t want a project.

I’ve been called a slut shamer my whole adult life because I do not do hook-up culture. I’m vocal against it. Standards are toxic and problematic, I know I know. I have a lot of audacity. I’m just not a public toilet. Hook-up culture is addiction. These people cannot quit or commit. Commitment is what I am after which is old-fashion and outdated by today’s standards. Today’s alleged standards I should say.

If I had a partner, there would be a third party. The relationship itself. It would be something we build together. If we get married, we become family. Blood is thicker than water. The commitment is what I would be serving. We will fall out of lust and love but we are committed to the relationship and we will work together to keep falling in lust and love as we evolve as individuals. I would love out of duty.

Beyond the surface, I am drawn to intelligence. Big brain energy. I like sophisticated people. Classy people. People who present themselves well. I understand that it is just plumage but I like to see somebody put in an effort. I’m back at the surface again, oops. I like somebody with healing energy. That isn’t in their negative. They have ambitions. Somebody goal oriented who is constantly trying to improve themselves. The given up and settled attitude is not for me. It is in my nature to help and I want to help them win. I want synergy. I don’t need to be completed. I completed myself, I want to be a power couple.

My Capricorn energy is strong in this department. This isn’t just my Venus in Capricorn talking. I have a Capricorn Mercury & Sun. Neptune is there as well. So is my MC. My Sun & Venus are in the 9th house which is in Capricorn. Saturn is in my 7th house. My commitments always come first. Venus rules my entire birth chart as a Taurus rising. I value comfort and stability. This comes from restriction. The best version of myself is somebody with parameters.

What about sex? I am a prude. I don’t really like to discuss that in public or with anyone. That’s Capricorn energy right there. My 7th house is in Scorpio. It is my shadow self as my descendant. I have a Scorpio Moon & Mars. Also a stellium in the 8th house but what does a Scorpio Moon & Mars mean for a man and his sexuality? They are very in touch with their sexual instincts. Their sexual nature is complex. Scorpio rules sex. This is where they feel creative. Where they feel spiritual. There is an intensity in this area. Especially when you have a Scorpio Mars because that is a dignified placement. Mars rules Scorpio. This potent energy can be used in many different ways but for myself, if I can control my desires then I can control anything. I practice celibacy outside of relationships. Bottom line, I don’t want to want. Wanting hurts, yes, but I want to be free from my desires so that I can govern myself. That is what freedom is to me. It isn’t chasing everything I want to the ends of the earth.

When I imagine the perfect relationship, it is pretty mundane. I want a big family. I want to be a work-from-home dad. The caretaker of the home. My partner and I are a team and I want my partner to win. I want their dreams to come true out there in the world. My dreams are at home. The kids, the community, etc.

What I get online is the bottom of the barrel, it feels like. Those brave enough to share a picture of themselves, I give them credit. However, I don’t see a lot of self-respect right off the bat. People don’t love themselves.

When I say love, love is oneness. You don’t want to be separated from what you love. These people are not one with themselves. We have to take care of ourselves the way we would a child. I would not let my child live an unhealthy lifestyle. I would not let my child have a bad diet. I would not want my child to be an addict. I would not want my child to do sex work on OnlyFans. I wouldn’t not want my child to give their bodies away to everything. I would not want my child to suffer and never work on their mental health either. Being an adults means that we have to do the things we don’t feel like doing. Nobody is going to come and make us put our phones down and go for a walk. Nobody is coming to work on that resume, or work on the finances, or work on that diet, etc. We have to parent ourselves. When I see that lack of self-love, I see somebody that needs to evolve a bit. I’m just not interested in being a parent to somebody else. That works for others! Good for them but I need somebody that shows up correct.

Anyway, I signed up and scrolled through those dating sites while doing a coffee enema, lol. It felt like the dating experience I would have gotten from everybody that I saw there. I’m such a critical, judgemental cunt. I know.

Last night I had one of the best burgers of my life. My roommate told me about a place that has a lot of vegan options. She told me to look at the menu and offered to order it to go while she was there with her friends. It was such a nice offer! I didn’t regret it. The vegan poutine was weak. I make it better at home but the burger! Omg! It was a vegan chicken burger, the cheddar tasted like real Balderson cheddar. I’m hooked! I’ll treat her to something next weekend.

I did manage to work on my projects yesterday after all. Barely. I move at a glacial pace I tell ya. I was pushing through a lot of brain fog but I did push myself. I started my first blog post for my website. It’s going to talk about discernment. The skillset we are deficient in. We are making more and more choices on less and less information. It’s too heavy for ChatGPT so I will have to write it on my own. It’s going to take like a whole day. Ugh.

I also set up my microphone and ring light situation and FaceTimed my sister to see how it all holds up. I was able to talk in front of the camera with ease but once it’s just me… I freeze up. The microphone does not work, I don’t know how to set it up correctly, I assume. My headphones have a built-in microphone that I didn’t know about. I’ll make it all work. I’ll reach out to Michelle and go live with her. Maybe she will let me record it so that I can get soundbites from it for my socials. My sister was blown away by what she saw right away. I looked like a real podcaster that streams. I’ve only recently started to talk about doing this with people that are actually in my life and they’re pretty hyped for me. They think it’s a great fit. Maybe they’re just excited that they won’t have to hear me talk about what I am passionate about because they really don’t care, lol.

Anyway, I am getting pissed off again just thinking about my studies for class. I am one class behind… I just hate this but I have to do it though. Every fibre of being is telling me to go shopping right now when I don’t need to. Just got to hit the books already.

I watched this today for no good reason. I just happen to enjoy Brett Cooper. This Hasan character and his little gang of leftists show up on feeds often. At some point, I just give up on trying to hear what somebody like this has to say. Leftists like these just spend the entire time insulting a person by throwing ad hominem attacks. They then try to pass that off as though they had made a legitimate form of argument. I don’t want to get into detail but once you explore pathological narcissism, you will exactly what he is doing here. What they are all doing and it’s just so menacing.