day 9 in Bittersweet

still alive. Still in pain.
I called the neuro crying. They wrote the letter.
My heartrate spiked to 198 during a pain wave. I called the nurse line for pain relief and they were concerned i was having a heart attack. I said it was over 24 hours before when it happened. It took me some time to realize it happened. My watch monitor was dead and when it had been spiking my watch was really irritating me so i took it off and dropped it. So I didnt realize it happened. They asked me a ton of questions then called to follow up. They wanted me to go to the ER. I could not afford that, My friend just went and spent 2k on a strep test. I said no. They asked me to go to a dr appointment at least and make sure im ok. I said ok.
The neuro said they would call in a script for a steroid to try to break the cluster. I said yes please. Nothing was called in, but I got the letter.

I made it through most of the day with minimal pain. Its 7 30 pm and its coming back in a tight wave....
Tomorrow i have that dr appt, then a call with the pharmacy to try to get the shot approved so I can at least get my damn injection.

I have literally tried every damn thing ive ever heard of to break it. Last time I had one this long an bad I needed an iv to stop it and there is no way I can afford that…
Tomorrow is my anniversary. What a way to spend it.