Septemeber Is Here in Me Being Me

It feels like a whole year has gone by since the last September came but the difference is it’s a whole new year. And I can’t even remeber what it was like last year. I am pretty sure it was the same and I felt the same. But this year I think I am feeling much worse because I am afraid that it will be colder. And the tempature here will be colder or feel colder.
The thing with me and my body tempatures is that because of my medication that my body has a hard time regualting tempature and the slum lord either doesn’t care or is just too cheap. I can’t understand how a human being can’t care about another human being and would want them to be happy and comfotable?
Hubby keeps telling me that he will het me a hot water bottle so I can hold it and my hands will get warm or that I need to wear sweat pant and a sweat shirt or have more blankets on my bed. That is all fine and dandy but then I will get too hot and then I will be still cold so what good will that do? What I need is the heat to be on at one tempature and left there and there also needs to be s setting called auto so when the heat gets up to a point the furnace will stop and the heat will be maintained. And the other appliences need to be up to industry standard and maintained which none are here. I wonder if the slum lord is afraid to maintain anything because she will find a lot more wrong with it and will have to spend even more money to replace it all? Or maybe because the house it’s self is 54 years old and it’s not worth it? I was thinking that if people are 54 years old is that the time to just let them die and not take care of them? Are people considered old at 54? How old does a house have to be before it gets maintained? And what about a person? And what about your pet? When it’s 7.5 years old do we just kill it because it’s too old to take to the vet and get medication for it?
How some people think about when their pride and joy of ahome and how they just stop taking care of it. It just blows me away.
The only thing I can think of is I am not worthy enough to be happy or comfortable and the slum lord is the one who is doing this. The least she can do is do the minamul and fix the easy stuff and if she doesn’t want to fix it then replace it. There are now two things wrong with the dryer. The timer doesn’t work right and the temapture doesn’t work right and from what I read they are just small parts that shouldn’t cost a lot of money but the thing is the while dryer has to come apart and be put back together. But I figure if you know what you are doing it can be fixed in less then 5 minutes.
I am one of those types that really doesn’t complain about the small stuff because I can usually maintain it myself or replace it. it’s the big stuff that when something goes wrong it’s a big deal. Like the oven element it’s not heating up all around it and I know that it’s only going to get worse but she told me she won’t repalce it because she doesn’t want to. The last time my element didn’t work right was when it caught on fire from grease and that was on a Christmas day when I was cooking a Turkey. I wonder why she repalced it then and won’t repalce it now?
I am starting to wonder that everything that needs to be fixed or replaced isn’t really that big of a deal and I should just stop wanting it fixed and then the worst will happen and a fire will start? And like the slum lord says it’s not worth fixing because it costs too much money? But then what is a big deal? When the cement floor finally caves in? or when I trip over the 2 inch crack? And when the furnace starts spewing out gas and then explodes? Maybe I am better off not caring and hoping that the slumlord and her dog will die because of carbon monoxide spewing out from her gas oven? I am just waiting for her to forget to turn off the oven and she wakes up dead. Now that would be funny…

Onto something else…

Here is an odd question for you? When you are eating a meal what do you eat first? At breafast I start with my protien and at dinner I start with my vegetables and I always eat my carbs last because I figure if I get full the carbs are just going to give me more sugar then I really need. I am also finding that there are a lot of days when I just don’t want to eat dinner. I just look at it and not want it even though it’s something I really like.

Onto something else…

I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated September 18, 2023