A Romantic Conundrum Pt. II in My New Life

Furthermore, the poor thing thinks she is marrying into a wealthy family… which is slightly true to an extent. I have a large family spanning over most of this side of the US and most of them are Middle Socio-Economic Class, and a few are Upper Middle Socio-Economic Class. My Mother’s side of the family comes from Old Money, and my father’s side is New Money. Anyone who has dealt with these types their whole life would know it’s best just to stay away. I keep in touch with a select few of my cousins on my mother’s side and a few on my father’s side, but only individually and not collectively. A W.B. Yeats poem comes to mind concerning my great grandparent’s fortune:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

I am close with my mother but that has taken a lot of forgiveness and the fact that I am aware I am entering a shark tank when I visit her.

STRIKE ONE. Marrying me for money. My lover in college was also my best friend. For 3 years we slept together snuggled tight in her dorm room or mine, or at her parent’s home. My mother was against us getting an apartment and when she would visit she would truly offend my girlfriend. M_, my girlfriend, didn’t overly care for my mother’s family on family vacations (which is an A+ for me.) I don’t plan on attending any of those family gatherings again after Mimi, my maternal grandmother, passed away. When I lost my lover in college, I lost my best friend and a family. Her parent’s adored me and even after we broke up her mother would say, I was still her favourite boyfriend even after M_ was dating someone else.

My next great lover, Me_, was also my best friend (Both were smokin’ hot, btw;) and therapist. My family was vehemently opposed to us getting together. They were unwelcoming to her in our home and added extreme, unnecessary stress to our relationship. “Kitten” was my pet name for Me_. Kitten still FB messages me with things like, Did you wreck? I had a nightmare you had a car accident. Please don’t drive anywhere anytime soon. She turned vegan after we were together, and she volunteers on Suicide Help Hotlines when she isn’t taking care of her elderly parents or playing with her pet chickens. My entire immediate family made keeping that relationship nurtured unnecessarily difficult in an already very difficult time for me (excluding my youngest adopted brother, P_. He is awesome and supportive.) This was around the time my mother had one of her episodes. She does this occasionally. I was moving to a new town due to some hardships, and work opportunity. My mother put my dog of 16 years down when I said I would take him with me to my new apartment and let him live out his years there with me. She gave my cat away without my permission and junked my car when I was just going to buy a new transmission for it. (I’ve dropped transmissions before on more difficult cars to work on.) It really boils down to control which is prevalent with her and her sisters, and my sister. They can’t control me, or who I date. Especially now that I am aware of the danger, I have cut off any aspects of control (which is generally financially based i.e. I have more money, or make more money which means you have to do, be, act or date how I demand you too). Which may, or may not be the case. I probably make more than my immediate family, but they will never know that!;) My aunt is a CEO of big Tax Firm in Atlanta and my sister works for them. I use the competition for my taxes;) And that’s not to mention my other hidden investments.

Needless to say, I hate Thanksgiving and Christmas. Well, I don’t actually. I love Holiday cheer and giving gifts and this year I celebrated Christmas in February. That was when I actually felt the Holiday cheer after my biological family were through punching each other and everyone in arm’s length.

I have been adopted in many-many other families. My friend from St. John’s says I’m an honorary brother, my Greek family calls me brother and son and many other folks along the way consider me family and that is where I am happiest. So, when my biological family were intervening into my relationship with Kitten it was like having random intruders show up to ruin your life and harass you. It was like a Kafka novel where folks who were never your family show up and just start taking your life away from you using a court documents you never get to see. Like Josef K_ being arrested in The Trial. Awful, horrifying surrealist horror; living a French horror film like Cach’e.

Kitten would have fit in fine with my Greek family. I always had to find “family” through my friends. Mom is okay most of the time until she is under the influence of my horrifying older siblings, or the worst of her own siblings.

Currently, they are circling me like buzzards because they know I am successful, but I’m slipping away one piece at a time to either the other side of the country or maybe even a different country altogether.

So, marrying me for the sake of marrying into my biological family’s money is not really on the docket for me.

ZDD

Last updated September 13, 2023