Going alright. in Since OD is shutting down....

My daughter went with her big sister for a couple of hours. They went out to lunch and got a couple things from Dollar Tree. She invited us to her housewarming party next Saturday but I don’t know if I’m into that because I don’t do well around a bunch of people I don’t know. She said she’ll probably take her next Sunday so that’ll be nice.

She got back and then we ran around for awhile making money. It’s actually pretty fun taking her with me and not having the need for a sitter. I honestly wish I would have started doing this a long time ago but she wasn’t into it. I’m really enjoying having her with me and she keeps bugging to go again but it’s still 100 degrees and not super fun outside. We may go again tomorrow if it’s busy.

I made pizza while she was gone and she just ate the rest. I have terrible heartburn so I don’t know if I’ll have dinner or not.

It’s been really nice feeling a lot more at peace about everything. I think I spent so much time dwelling in my pain that my thought process changed. It’s like when something gets to you, your brain has to switch off to other things before you short circuit.

Sometimes I wonder how he would do being a single parent. I know that I wouldn’t ever have just left him to take care of our child by himself. I think the reason I’ve taken all of this so hard is because I wouldn’t have EVER done him the way he did me. I wouldn’t be able to live my ‘best life’ not having my child. I know that I get frustrated sometimes but I know she’s the reason I breathe. I couldn’t ever just go months without seeing her, wondering if she’s alright, if she’s safe.