Dilemma in Current Events

I officially registered for my course today. They offered me physics again which brought up some PTSD. I am contemplating it though. I wanted to take chemistry in January but they only had 40S (grade 12). 30S (grade 11) is only available in September. I need to be good at it so I decided to wait until this September for. That is what I just registered for today. I didn’t want to take the time off so I signed up for a history/English course but they suddenly had physics available. I figured that would be playtime for me. It feels like unfinished business. I could have spent this whole time studying it but I didn’t. All that time I spent doom scrolling I could have been training to be a mathlete. It was the math that I found challenging. Not the concepts.

It might have been for the best that I took that time off because I ended up having to job hunt and go into struggle mode.

After these adult ed courses, it is a bachelor of science degree that I am going to be working on. I need that to get into medical school and I didn’t even look to see if I would need physics for it. It’s usually one or the other, they explained to me today but I will look into that this weekend. It is 30S physics that they are now offering so it wouldn’t be as challenging as it was in January when I tried and failed. It was 40S physics that I was thrown into. Maybe I can try again? It is with the same teacher who I found not to be very good. Decisions decisions. It’s going to be math-heavy. My days will be absolutely full. I have that full-time position during the day and then it would be class 4 nights a week.

Full-timers are being offered a 4-day work week. We get to keep the benefits and status. I will take that offer if I take both courses.

On that note. Yesterday, at work, I got thrown into that program that I was worried about. It wasn’t so bad. I ended up teaching it to somebody else on the team. Today, I was given a project with Jerry. He wasn’t working the first week I was there. He’s a big character and I am glad I finally got to work with him. He was intimidating and now he is not.

I got a little award for following the correct steps in reporting safety hazards. Our HR also nominated me for something. I had to answer a few questions. I was too busy to pay attention.

I am slowly starting to see what everybody is complaining about with my supervisor. It’s like, everybody says she is difficult and they can’t stand her but they won’t tell me why. They just say that I will learn. I am starting to see that she is a micro-manager with OCD. Only, she has to delegate so we are expected to read her mind and/or have OCD to get the results that she wants. It doesn’t bother me because she communicates her standards. Actually, everybody communicates her standards to me. The slightest little thing and they’re like “Helena will not like that!” I don’t see the big fuss. It can be a little deflating but I’m an adult.

Anyway, I have to sit and think about if I want to take that physics course. I also need to find time, energy and courage to get my ass to the gym I am paying for as well.

I also have all those side projects that I want to do. Build that website, start that podcast. Grow a presence online. Once I have it all started it will be a piece of cake because of ChatGPT and other AI services. It will take on the bulk of the work. Blah!

Anyway, time for a detox bath. It’s been over a week since I had one. My lower back is so done with me. I gotta book that osteopath already too. I also need to get a physical. My procrastination is in control.