Wednesday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I should hear tomorrow if my daughter is going to get a spot in the after school program. I’m trying really hard to not stress about it but if she doesn’t, it’s going to be even harder to find a job. I went through this last year and it was awful trying to find something within school hours and know there’s no one else to help with her. I just would like to know either way so I can prepare to be pissed off, get over the initial shock and try to get her into the other place which I don’t see that happening because that’s another free program that everyone has probably already gotten to take up all the spots.

It’s another hot ass day but tomorrow is supposed to start cooling off. It was 100 yesterday and absolutely miserable waiting for her to come out of school. I want to shower but I’ll just be gross by the time I pick her up so I’ll probably do it later or tomorrow. We went over to my brother’s yesterday to get her swim suit and he wanted us to leave. We were in the car when my niece and her Mom showed up and my kid was pretty sad that we couldn’t hang out with them. I just don’t know how to tell her that they really aren’t people we should plan to be around a lot because my niece is really negative and it rubs off on her and I’m also sick of my brother constantly putting me down because I don’t have a job.

It kills me everyday that I don’t have employment. I have made this clear as a bell to everyone. I don’t like my situation and I’m terrified that it’s not going to change because I don’t have a village. I’m sick of constantly having negative things being said to me when I have worked like a dog much of my adult life. I used to own 3 cars and have plenty of money in the bank. I don’t know where anyone would think I like my life right now. I don’t need to sit and have anyone bash me because it just brings me down more.

Let’s ignore the fact that I don’t have anyone to help with my daughter outside of school. Let’s ignore the fact that I have 2 herniated discs in my back. Let’s ignore the fact that I am completely on my own. Let’s ignore the fact that her Dad isn’t there physically and refuses to pay child support. ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE AFFECTED MY ABILITY TO WORK!!!!! No one is willing to help me at all but have plenty to say about me not working. It’s like my brother fails to see what has lead up to me not having a job but has plenty to say! Again, no one will help but offering criticism is helpful in their minds!

There’s also Facebook page about single Mom’s in the exact same spot and everyone just attacks them.