Sunk in Current Events

I’m feeling irritable today. I’m only human and I don’t need to overthink it… but I will! I must have thought that the elevated state of being I was in was going to last forever. I feel judgemental and critical which made brunch with the girls perfect. Leanne and I are very judgemental people. People make dumb choices and then burden the rest of us with their consequences. We had enough after covid.

My roommate is home today. She’s up and about. I’m not sure what she is doing but she is extremely restless. She is practically stomping all through the apartment. It’s like every 10 minutes she runs to the balcony to do a bong rip. She has her headphones on, Taylor Swift most likely. It’s hard to say if she is upset or not. She’s a tiny little creature but she walks loudly. She is insecure about her wide shoulders, which aren’t wide. She walks with them spread out. She doesn’t sway her hips like a woman she sways her shoulders. She man spreads. She is so stiff when she walks. It looks like she is in pain. Liquor stores are on strike. maybe that is why she is restless. I have a bottle of wine and some gin I could offer her but I won’t.

When I woke up I was reminiscing about how awful it was living with her before our talk. I think that is what dragged my mental state down. Old habits die hard. A pop astrologer on TikTok created a little game where she acts out a zodiac sign and we have to guess which one it is. She so clearly did Taurus yesterday and all I could think about was my roommate who is a Taurus. She has a Virgo moon and she hasn’t gotten the time she was born yet but I am very confident that it is Aires. If not, her sun is in the first house. She still fits the Taurus archetype. My buddy Kyle, same thing and that’s just with a Taurus Moon. I feel like my Taurus rising is watered down by something else in my chart. Scorpio? My Sun is in the 9H, I think that is it. Sagittarius rizz.

I bought a shoe mat and she filled it right up with her shoes. I moved it to the balcony and bought a bigger one. She filled it right up with her shoes too. I bought a 3 tier shelf for our shoes, she filled two up with her shoes. I put a smaller shoe rack by the door, she filled it right up with her shoes. I bought a little ottoman so that I can sit down to put on my shoes… she tried to make that her resting place for her bag. No mam! This probably isn’t a Taurus thing but just a woman thing. Mind you… I take up half of the shoe mats/racks as well. My shoes are a lot bigger than hers though.

Speaking of women things. Girl math. Why am I guilty? Anything under $5 is basically free #Girl Math. Return something for $50 and buy something for $100 instead, it only cost $50 #GirlMath. Spending $500 on something is crazy but buying something that is $100 5x is fine #GirlMath. Decided not to buy something that is $50 so now I have an extra $50 to spend… #GirlMath.

My mantra before I cognitively did a reset was Intention Deficit Disorder. It was my starting ritual. Those three words made me want to be in defiance of it. I managed to use it to will myself to start a project. I am finally designing a journal to sell on Amazon. I thought it would be easier but I seem to want to put a lot of work into it. Now I feel like I need to pause to do a little research into making a journal. Potentially, an agenda book. I’m going to create one for each zodiac sign and I am going to keep it in theme. The site I am using is free but has premium content that I need to pay for. A little investment might be okay. It’s watermarked but… I know a site that can remove watermarks. Not that I want to steal someone’s template. I seem to want the most for doing the least. Maybe my Taurus rising isn’t watered down after all.

I also feel like I am catching a cold. Not so much a cold, not sure what is trying to happen. I feel like I smoked a pack of smokes. My throat started to throb the other night as well. I think it is the gin. I theorized before that I might be “allergic” to hard liquor. It’s an appropriate response to a neurotoxin, in my opinion. My body always uses my lungs and sinuses to remove waste. It’s over pretty quickly if it goes into a detox crisis. I seem them building the narrative for the covid sequel. The last one was a free trial for Socialism. This next one, every country signed up to let the UN take over. The UN doesn’t do rights, just rules. “Social Responsibility.”

Speaking of politics. We can see that the news cycle is clogged here in the West. The controlled narrative and the controlled counter-narratives are doing their thing. Newton’s Law of Distraction. Also, nobody is paying attention to Africa. Putin is liberating them from the West, in a captured essence. I’ve always wanted this for Africa. They’re not poor nations, they’re over-resourced. We are going to have a World War, guaranteed. We’re already in it, it will be kinetic warfare soon enough. We’re already burning cities to the ground and calling it wildfire. It’s information warfare right now. The west will fall. It has to. This system is not ours. I would like to see Big Pharma run out of Africa. What is the connection between a misuse of a PCR, the Henry Kissinger Report and Africa?

I meal prepped and got my breakfasts and lunches made for the next three days. I did that this morning before I left for brunch. I also deep-cleaned the kitchen. Went inside the fridge and everything. Felt bitter about how my roommate will never do anything of the sort. That’s probably what triggered me. Old metacognitive habit. I have another thought pattern that is creeping in. One that is trying to me make insecure about my projects.

Speaking of thought patterns, I was talking about my social anxiety with the girls this morning. I remembered how terrifying the gym was to me the last time I signed up. Carly randomly mentioned the Wellness Institute down the street from me which most people haven’t heard of. It isn’t that cheap. It’s $65 a month but I would have access to an indoor track, a pool, a sauna, a hot tub, and lots of gym equipment. They interview you when you sign up and go over goals and nutrition. Most importantly, there are no meatheads there. Gym bros do not go there. I won’t trip over any of those rancid little douchebags. It’s not the mainstream gym culture there. That sounds perfect. I’ll try my current gym out. I really like that I have free tanning and a few other perks with the premium membership which only costs $25 a month. Carly does physio for athletes, she offered to develop a workout plan for me. I’m open to it. She told me to go slow and control the movements. I don’t know when I’m going to go yet. It is something I want to do before I start my 6 am shifts.

Anyway, I shall get back to working on that dang journal.

Last updated August 13, 2023