Stressed out. in Since OD is shutting down....

So we got up and did breakfast this morning and got a few things at the store. I was watching a movie called, “The Sleep Experiment” earlier and plan to finish it soon. Today is the last cool day and then it’s going to be hot for awhile. My daughter goes with her big sister tomorrow for a little while and is going to play with her friend’s kid. I don’t plan to do much outside as I’m sick of the heat. I got stung by a bee on Saturday and it still itches like crazy. I can’t wait until the bugs are gone.

I got my paperwork from TANF and I’m going to get it mailed tomorrow. I really don’t want to do that again but I’m hoping they can get me into a program for disabilities or something. The injection I did last Wednesday didn’t help at all and it’s still a struggle to be on my feet, especially standing still. I’m really anxious and uncomfortable about the future because I don’t know what to do about everything. Everywhere I turn, there’s another problem!

We got another good night sleep. I’m so glad my daughter is back so I can relax and not have to worry about her. She told me that her Dad has a mask for her to wear inside their house because of the dog shit. They also smoke indoors and in the car which is really a problem as I have always made sure that my daughter hasn’t been exposed to smoke. I’m just really annoyed that grown ass people live the way they do and my daughter has had to deal with it. I’m upset knowing that they sleep most of the day while the kids are outside playing and they don’t have a fenced yard.

I plan to bring up all my concerns the next time they ask to take her. I’m also pissed that she lost a tooth there and it wasn’t sent back with her. I had to hustle my ass off to get her new clothes and shoes for school and I also have to replace her shoes, toothpaste and detangler that wasn’t sent back with her. She told me that her Dad slept the majority of the time she was there and up until the left on Friday, Like he knew she was going home and still didn’t think to get up and spend time with her before she was to come home. He is absolutely a deadbeat sperm donor and that’s not going to change!

She told me the other day that there was daycare kids there but when I asked my daughter, she said the only kids that were there was her grandkids so now I’m starting to wonder if she’s a liar too. I’m angry that I sent my kid with virtual strangers and I’m not even getting the truth about stuff. All of this makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I will be saying plenty before they were to take her again. I’m also upset that he’s been there 3 months and there’s still no job. So by her providing him with another place to freeload, there’s no incentive for him to ever work. Making his life easier just makes mine harder so I’ve lost a lot of respect for her at this point.

This dumpster fire has no end in sight and it’s making me really upset. I’m very frustrated that nothing gets better. Being completely on my own is depressing and the struggle is very real. We have a week before school starts and it’s going to be super hot. I know we’ll go out and do things but it’s not fun with the heat.