Burnout in Current Events

I feel like I have burnout but I haven’t done anything to bring that upon myself.

Yesterday was bittersweet. I got to say goodbye to my team at work. I gave out a lot of hugs. My supervisor hugged me the tightest and longest. Everybody is happy for me but sad to see me go. I’m a big personality there.

I’m looking forward to starting somewhere new on Monday. I just bought myself a new pair of CSA-approved shoes. These ones are vegan, unlike my first pair which are falling apart. I am going to be spending so much time in the kitchen again now that I have a reason to meal prep. I’m looking forward to hunting down new ideas and recipes.

My anxiety is a little high because I have been out of control with my spending. I’ll have it all paid off in no time. There isn’t anything left that I want. I’ve been pent up all year. I can relax and enjoy myself.

I got another one of my favourite kinds of comments the other day. Somebody I don’t know or recognize that quietly reads my entries said hi. They want my podcast when it is launched. On that note, there is something I haven’t purchased yet after all. Just a microphone.

Now that I can afford to pay for a domain I will work on my website this weekend. I’ve played around with a few sites that help design websites and I think I like WIX the best.

The day is still young but I feel like I’m falling asleep already. Mind you, I’m up at 5:30 am. That’s me sleeping in. That’s another thing I get to restructure. Structure? That’s what I missed the most. I have my Scorpio stellium in the 6th house. I’m addicted to routines.

I started to use Google docs to write my novel and I was going to use it to write for my website as well but now that Google is working on a streaming service, they are using AI to scan through everybody’s work to come up with ideas for shows and films. I’ll have to find something else to use. Random thought: Maybe I can manifest a new computer?

Another thing that I need to do is start working on some of those side hustles I’ve learned about. If I’m not fixated on running around shopping I am doom scrolling. I suppose I am trying to feel some sense of control while things don’t feel in my control right now. I’m going to let myself crash and then I’ll see what I can muster this evening. I literally have nothing better to do.

*Edit

The gym I wanted to register at was too expensive, in my books. Though that gym is in the same parking lot as my work. The gym across the street costs even more. I opted for the one that is a little drive because it is cheap as fuck… I mean, cost effective. I have their premium which gives me unlimited access to their tanning, massage chairs and things like that. Working up the nerve to go to a gym was an issue before. My social anxiety made going back to school the worst thing I could do but I did it. I’m sure I can make it to the gym. I’ll start small, just cardio. Once I’m comfortable I’ll do bigger and better things.

I also signed up for Spotify. I get a free trial. We shall see if I like it or even use it enough. When I went through that dark night of the soul, I lost my connection to music. To everything. A few cognitive resets, I don’t know what else to call it, I slowly started to come back to myself. I can connect to music again, barely. I’m old people now.

My Bluetooth speaker from Amazon arrived today. It is charged enough, I shall see if it is worth it. I’m old people, this is new tech for me. I can see myself returning it because… what’s the point!?

I wrote down my list of things to do for next week. I want to get a physical by my family doctor but I don’t remember his name. It’s been so long. The clinic has a new doctor, I wanted to see if I can book an appointment with him but it looks like they are still playing covid-19. At least, that’s what it looks like on their website. I’ll call and see what the score is. The last time I was there I was telling my doctor that I was on the verge of either a mental breakdown or a breakthrough. For better or for worse, it was a breakthrough. Breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough.

On Monday, I will confirm that my benefits are in effect so that I can book an appointment with that osteopath I went to for massage therapy. He claims that I will be two inches taller once he works on my spine. 6 foot 2? No wonder my head is in the clouds.

At some point, I made it a point to look into Index Funds. I’ll reach out to Susanna about getting the name of the financial advisor she hired.

I was supposed to build those journals to sell on Amazon this week. I’ll try that this weekend. It’s just 12 journals that I have to put together, digitally. Amazon will take care of the rest. You’ll never guess what the theme of them are. I’ll give you a hint, 12 journals.

I’m pretty sure that I will need to get Bluetooth headphones… unless I get a new laptop or computer first. I don’t like the idea of microwaving my brain with Bluetooth headphones. Well, if I get AirPods it would be safe enough to just use one at a time.

Then there is school coming up! Ugh. I can’t math. I had all of this time to work on it.

Anyway, I am still fighting the crash, I am going to drop dead for an hour now.

Last updated August 12, 2023