First summer with kinder going on 1st grade... in Age 35

So my oldest is 5 going to be 6 in about 2 weeks. This is my first summer with him not in school, and oh boy, do I now understand the moms that would vent (I hate to say complain, because its really not) about the summers when their kids would be home. I would think, “Don’t they miss their kids? They’re gone all year!” So yes, I did miss my son throughout the year and our outings that we had before school, but honestly....its work having him home!

And what’s worse or more complicated is that he’s used to being productive throughout the day, and not that I am not, but I also have another person home during the summer…the husband. He’s a teacher. So he’s out for the summer too, making my home chores compounded. He helps…a little, but even if he did, damn! The work load has doubled!

Laundry, cooking (because I like to make meals for my family instead of buying all the time, and you know, inflation), the messiness of the house…I’m exhausted. Also my kids are used to gong to mom for all things, and with dad here they still come to me. He’s helped a lot with that. If my son asks for something dad is teaching him that he can do things on his own without asking me.

I also find myself being burnt out. I’m more exhausted in these 2 weeks that they both have been home than when its just me and my daughter (she’s 2). I also work as a nurse. So I am expected to carry out tasks at work, and now at home. I just don’t get a break. I find myself just wanting alone time. No kids. No husband. No one around but me. Maybe some girlfriends if I had them.

Mom life is lonely. Money is tight so its not like I can even go out and treat myself. Hubby and I have been paycheck to paycheck. House broke. We make our payments but have nothing left over for savings. We’re saving up what we can to redo the roof. Leaks y’all. We got leaks. I just hate this limbo in my life where I can’t do anything. And I’m catering to mouths that want food in them. I feel like the mama bird with three little birdies with open mouths.