1 week. in Since OD is shutting down....

We have until Friday with the Summer program and then it’s trying to figure out how to keep busy for like 11 days until she goes with her Dad. We still don’t have it set in stone exactly when for sure they are coming. I’ve been waiting on a text saying he’s gotten a job but that probably isn’t going to happen.

She has her dentist appointment at 7am tomorrow morning. I’m definitely pretty nervous about it and wondering how many more appointments there will be.

So the field trip is starting at 9:00am so as long as I get her there by 8:40 we should be good to go. Hopefully that will happen. They told me her appointment is about an hour so if we leave there by 8:20 it shouldn’t be a problem. I just don’t want her home the whole day so time is of the essence in the morning.

But yeah, the date thing just didn’t work out. It wasn’t because he was nervous and anxious. It was the fact that he kept talking about how he should have grabbed his fishing gear because a friend wanted him to go. I’ve been made to feel like an inconvenience by entire life and I’m not going to let another person make me feel that way. I was also annoyed that if I spoke more than a few words, he would interrupt me. I was beyond irritated with that. He wasn’t trying to get to know me either. He also said that he doesn’t like hanging out at the in laws so he’s always trying to find shit to do so I felt like I would have just been used as a back up plan.

Again, we all have our issues and trauma but he’s just not the trainwreck I’m looking for. I was irritated the first night talking to him on the phone where all he did was bitch about the ex wife and interrupt me. I remember telling my friend that I was already getting the ick. My friend felt that I needed to give it more of a chance so I talked to him on the phone the next night where it was the exact same thing. I was pissed that he kept asking me what I wanted to do when we hung out and kept mentioning picking me up and going to get food and because he kept asking, it made me feel like he was hoping that he wouldn’t have to spend money. I finally offered to make a pizza hoping he was going to still offer to take me out where he says, “I’m not picky” and I remember in the moment wanting to cancel.

This is the type of shit I would have overlooked when I was young but I won’t now! I know that if I were to keep hanging out with him, it would just be the same shit. I’m not impressed with how the guy handled himself and how he couldn’t afford to take me out but then as we are leaving my house, he says he was gonna go have a beer? Um yeah okay. I also don’t like people coming over until I’ve had the chance to meet them in a public place first so to me, it was really rushed and I will never do that again. I don’t feel like the guy is going to stalk me or anything but I just don’t want people knowing where I live and being in my home until I’ve felt comfortable first.

I just didn’t like how the flow of all of this went and it’s going to be a while before I try again. I don’t like putting myself out there and this is the kind of shit that goes on when I do. I have since put myself on break from Facebook dating and plan to leave it that way for a hot minute. It’s just insane how many fucked up people are walking around thinking they should be in a relationship when they should probably be in counseling.