I'm getting old in Journal

  • July 8, 2023, 9:25 a.m.
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  • Public

And I think it has just begun to sink in.
I have 2 kids and want more, but I’m seeing gray hair. My energy isn’t what it once was. I see lines on my face. My knees sometimes are so painful that I won’t move from the couch if I don’t need to. And that’s not what I like. I am an active person, and I love moving. I like sports and adventures, staying in shape and exercising my fitness. It feels good and I love it. So a hindrance to that is devastating.
It’s devastating in a way that feels like betrayal.
I’m 35, and that seems to be a pretty average age to “hit the wall”, if not a little late, even. But what do 35 year olds-particularly women- tell everyone? Why are they so ubiquitously misleading younger people as to what it’s like to be 35+? And to be sure, there is a large degree of complicity on my part and younger womens part in exposure to social media. And a derth of exposure to older women in real life. It’s easy to pretend online. Not so much when you’re staring at a sad chubby single 40 year old who is saying she’s having the time of her life.
It’s scary. It’s a little terrifying to realize that I am officially cresting the wave of youth, and about to surf on that momentum only for the rest of my days.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m healthy. I’m healthier than anyone I know. I’m fit and active. But I feel different. I am recognizing the empirical signs and drawing the reasonable conclusion.


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