Fat Shamed in Life in General

You read that right....

My scale fucking fat shames me when I step on it haha. It does this sad slide whistle sound with a bell it’s so funny haha. Whoever programmed this thing was definitely a comedy genius. Luckily you can disable the sound tho.

Anyway I’m currently at 223.5 which is decent for how long I’ve been going. I’m not really tracking calories, but that’s mostly because I’ve calorie counted so many times that I’m pretty aware of what I’m allowed to have. But I’m also hoping that by skipping the calorie counter this time I’m able to be independent of the weight loss apps.

Because that’s my biggest problem currently, is that the apps are really annoying to use so when I get close-ish to my goal weight I stop caring as much and stop the apps which is how things get out of control pretty quickly. So I’m hoping that by doing this on my own I can make a more meaningful lifestyle change instead of just a temporary crash diet.

Also this week was my first week of doing a full workout routine. I did every part of the body, although these last two workouts were cut a bit short because I waited too long to start and it was really hot in the garage. I did my best but when it’s like 95F it kind of drains you quickly and since I’m working out alone I don’t wanna push myself too much. Just gotta fix my sleep schedule so I actually wake up at a decent time.

I really do like going to bed early and waking up early. There’s two main issues with that tho… I either can’t sleep through the night (waking up at 3am or something) oooor I do sleeep through the night but I’m TIRED AF all day.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I’m a parent because I’m DOGSHIT on no sleep. I’m just like a zombie. Maybe I just need to get that sleep and be super consistent about it for a few months to finally swap my circadian rhythm or something so I can workout earlier before it gets hot outside.

Well anyway, I also went on walks every day. I started out around half a mile the first day but today I went 1.5 miles. I made a deal with myself that once I hit 2 miles consistently, that I need to start jogging or using my air bike more consistently. We’ll see how much I stick to that.

I’m super committed to my weight loss this time. I can really tell this is it, this is the time where I actually take it seriously and get down. It took me way too many failed attempts, but I know I can do it this time. I think the exercise is the difference maker here. The last two times I tried to lose weight I skipped the exercise because I said the calorie deficit made me too weak, but that was just an excuse. As long as I eat right before a workout and have a protein shake or something, I can do it. It does suck working out when you’re hungry, but it’s just part of the deal when you’re cutting.

One day when I’m closer to my goal I’ll supplement with more protein and such. I have never really wanted to be super jacked or anything, but I’m pretty sure I’m genetically favored to get bigger. Even just after 3 weeks of working out my arms are already slightly bigger and I’m lifting heavier weights. They call it newbie gains, which is real, but based on my family genetics, I think I’ll have no problem putting on some muscle.

Because I don’t want to be super thin. There are certain people I see who I can tell aren’t super ripped but they’re strong. They don’t have an 6 pack, but that’s because they’re not starving themselves to get it. They’re just lean and strong at the same time. For me, that’s the ideal.