Friday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I have cleaned up the house and drank coffee. I do need to get some groceries, I’m just hyping myself up to go. I have a spot in my mouth that I am concerned about and I gotta wait for the dentist to call me on Monday and see when they can get me in. I don’t think it’s cancer but I do need to quit smoking. I ate crackers and know that contributed to it but it’s just not healing so I’ve been using warm salt water and stuff.

Haven’t really heard much from him or the girlfriend and not sure if they still plan to pick her up on Monday but I know that I don’t plan to ask them. The ball is in their court, I’m just going to hope my daughter isn’t upset if they don’t. I told her that we will go do fun stuff regardless. It sucks to always be the default parent. I told my friend this morning that if they choose to stop seeing her over CS that the next time he wants to see her in 6 months he’s going to have one helluva fight on his hands. It’s just not cool that he thinks he’s entitled to keep disappointing her because he’s her Dad.

I wish he wouldn’t have been such a deadbeat all this time and he was someone I could communicate with because it didn’t have to end up like this. I also wonder what’s going to happen in the future should him and this girl split up or once he’s able to make me the bad guy and sink me with her. Things have been pretty good up until now but because of the job thing and once they learn about the increase in CS it could go downhill very quickly so it’s just a matter of time before there’s drama. My daughter is going to be one the to get hurt and I’m left to pick up the pieces. Things only go good for so long.

He chose to not be a Dad all these years so if he chooses to skip out again because of the raise in CS to punish me, that’s on him. I could see him doing that just to further get at me. He’s always been a very selfish person. I understand that the modification came at the worst possible time and there’s going to be some shock involved but there’s no need to take it out on a child who doesn’t have to be affected by it. He CHOSE to not pay for years and that’s not her fucking problem.