The fight. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I had to call and make sure they had my phone number for the modification for Thursday morning. With him living where he does and the girlfriend confirming him working for cash, I could still be fighting for nothing. I’m wondering if he’s going to attend the hearing. If he does, it’s probably in hopes to abuse me to look good in front of the girlfriend but the focus is going to be on the financial stuff and not on me or what I’ve done. Even with the amount going up, there’s a good chance I won’t see any money. He doesn’t have to pay it. The girlfriend might make payments on his behalf but that will only last so long.

I’m sure they’ve received the PIN by now but there’s no payment. I don’t plan to ask because the ball is in their court now and I’m too afraid of what response I could get. She could say something about their waiting on the modification even though that has NOTHING to do with the fact that there’s thousands owed already along with the current! I also don’t want him to say that I’m all about his money.

All of this is incredibly stressful and maddening. I’m almost sorry I put in for the modification because I’m worried about him attending and how miserable he could make that. I know the ref will shut it down but it’s still going to make me angry and uncomfortable. The focus needs to be solely on HIM being a fucking deadbeat piece of shit in this and the fact that he STILL won’t have to take accountability! Him not paying is being controlling, financially abusive! For his girlfriend to make payments on his behalf is ass wiping!

It’s always been just an uphill battle trying to get him to be a Dad or for him to pay child support and I’m at my wit’s end. I think with his girlfriend’s help, I may see a payment or two and then she’s either going to get tired or he’ll convince her to stop paying it. Then I won’t have any guilt whatsoever because then I’ll go back to not getting any help with his kid whatsoever. It’s only a matter of time before all of this goes back to what it does!

I think my brother understands where I’m coming from but also wants me to make it as easy on BD as possible. The guy has already gone more than half her life not working and even longer not being involved. He’s also always had a free ride and just found a new one as well. He’s also working under the table yet again. I think things are as easy on him as they can possibly be so I’m moving forward with the modification. No one is going to gaslight me into thinking I’m all wrong for this. I’ve spend years being a full time parent while he’s gotten to be kid free while I’ve taken on all of the responsibility.