Tuesday. in Since OD is shutting down....

So yesterday I shampooed the carpet in the living room, did the laundry, and took a shower. I got my kid about 3:30 and took her to the dr. They said her ear probably didn’t completely heal from the last infection so they gave her another round of medicine. She had a really good day yesterday. She came home, had dinner, her bath and then slept 12 hours. Today they are going to a park about an hour away so she’s really excited. I’m just so glad that she is able to attend her program because I felt really bad after the other day when we followed my niece home from her program and she was feeling really left out.

I’m just sitting here. I don’t really have anything planned for today. I got some breakfast from McDonald’s and I might take a shower. I do have some back pain but it’s definitely not as bad as it was after my appointment on Friday. It’s not going to be super hot again today which is really nice. We are supposed to go out of town this weekend but I don’t think we are going to go. I haven’t heard from what’s his name and I just don’t feel like spending the money or driving that far so I plan to come up with a lie or two if I do hear from him.

Still wondering if kids Dad even has a job because I find it really questionable that he’s active on Facebook 24/7 and on that filthy website commenting on stuff all night long. I just hope that I’ll get some truth with the modification. I’m fully prepared for the CS amount to increase but not get any money because he either isn’t working or is working under the table because he’s done that so much too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s staying there during the week and having this girl run him back here for the weekends so he can hook up with other women and be out at the bar and then come back and get him. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do if that is what’s going on but I’m sure she’ll figure it out.

I just don’t know how you could justify being like this in your own head. How you would still willingly give up time with your child because your needs are more important. I have always put my child above my own needs since the day I learned I was pregnant and if I was like him, I would seriously be seeking professional help. There’s no way this shit is fucking normal. I would start to question myself as a person and want to change. But again, I’m just going to keep being the best Mom I can be and raise my kid to the best regard possible. She’s seeing this shit for herself so he can’t ever put any blame on me.