on the birthday of the Grimace in poetry

my working theory on The Grimace is
since he was originally a shake stealing villain with four arms
but is now Ronald’s mentally dim sidekick
the Grimace’s brains are distributed throughout their arms
and going down to two arms was just a side effect
of the “corrective” lobotomy Ronald performed on him to
maintain McDonaldlands rigid power structure
the stability of the McCaste system
the pillars of the McHegemony
that are usually buffeted
by billy-club abuse by Officer Big Mac
by the puppet authority of Mayor McCheese
but occasionally require Ronald the Meat Clown
the power behind the McPower
to step from from the shadows
to do the dirty work himself
to chop off the arms of a threat
and pull him to his side as
an idiot accomplice
a bumbling warning
to never ever cross
the Meat Clown

just like how Hamburglar was
originally a heroic freedom fighter
before his more conventional lobotomy
left him harmlessly hamburgling
with his speech center totally fried

just like how Captain Crook’s ship was mysteriously
sunk off the coast of Bermuda
though of course Ronald’s financial dealings with Cap’n Crunch
suggest foul play there as well

my working theory is
just don’t cross the Meat Clown
for he is the Ronald McDon
of the Insane Meat Posse
don’t cross the Meat Clown
if you want your mind in tact
don’t go to McDonaldland
if you ever want to come back