Insanity Of Addiction in I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

(Just posted this to Reddit.)

I’m 40 days sober. I had to make a run to the grocery store with a family member to pick up some food for lunch and dinner tomorrow. Weekends are bad triggers for me. On the drive to said store my addiction started speaking to my brain.

Psst, hey. Hey, psst. You can get some beer tonight. It won’t mess you up like liquor does.

I thought about it, no I said.

Aw c’mon, it’ll be fun.

No, I’ll have a hangover. I’m playing it forward.

And? You know how to deal with them. Water and rest.

Well…beer…I don’t know. Does sound good.

You know what would be better? Wait for the family to go to sleep then sneak out to the liquor store and get a bottle of vodka.

Oh man…that does sound kinda fun…I don’t know…

It’ll be just one night

DEAD STOP!

Instead of playing it forward to tomorrow I played it forward till the next just one night. How will I know I won’t cave when I’m already thinking well I drank that last time, this can’t hurt. Next thing you know I’ll be back and drinking like I was 5 to 6 days a week.

I can’t fucking do this. Reached out to a sober friend when I got home but by then I was feeling somewhat better

IWNDWYT
(Our rally cry, I Will Not Drink With You Today)

Small update: Reese’s peanut butter cups rock!

Last updated June 11, 2023