Ablation. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I am so relieved to say I got my appointment over with!! It was no joke. I’m pretty achy right now but definitely happy that it’s over. While I was there before they started sticking me, the lady called and said my daughter got a spot in the Summer program and will be starting Monday!! Omg I can’t even describe how happy I am right now. She’s very thrilled because it’s been a pretty boring few days and I am so glad she’s going to have something to do.

It’s only until July 21st but she’ll be 6 and I shouldn’t have a problem getting her into the other program. My brother claims they have hundreds of spots so hopefully she’ll be able to go. It’s a relief for me because it’s not easy trying to find stuff to do everyday and constantly spending money that I really can’t afford to be spending to entertain her. I’m just really hoping I’m going to start getting CS so that I have some kind of help from her deadbeat Dad because again, there’s only so much I can do on my own!!

Today and yesterday have been filled with good news and it’s been nice because I’ve sat around and stressed about all of this for so long and it’s nice that not only do I not have to stress anymore but everything is working out. Now I just have to wait until the hearing which is in like 3 weeks. It irritates the ever living shit out of me that it isn’t sooner because I like to get things that are unpleasant over with as quickly as I can so I don’t have to think about it any longer than I have to.

It’s over the phone which is great because then I don’t have to worry about a sitter but I’m sure he still won’t attend. He’s a very lazy, stupid person. It would be really ridiculous if he didn’t attend but then tried to appeal it. Like no, you didn’t care enough to plead your case and your financial situation but now you care enough to try and get it lowered?! Fuck you. Just enjoy going to the bar and living your life bro!!! You are still leaving me to take care of her by myself everyday and figure out scheduling and what I’m going to do once I start working and have to find a sitter when she’s sick or there isn’t school so you are still pretty off the fucking hook!!

I personally think that he might work a few hours away but is still here on weekends. I don’t see him staying there because it’s a small town and bars are probably non existent so he’d rather be here where there’s more to do. It’s not like he’d spend time with his kid though because she’s never a priority. I’m just glad that I won’t have to worry about trying to keep her busy day in and day out because I worried about this even a couple of months before school ended. Kids are fucking expensive. Even right now she’s bugging to get candy from somewhere.

As the custodial parent, I accept that I’ll always have more responsibility and accountability then he does but it still doesn’t make it right for him to just make our child an option either. I am so tired of being the one that carries all the stress of her appointments, making sure she has a home, food, clothing, getting her a bath every night and taking her with me to damn near everything while he sits back and worries about being a little boy in a man’s body. There needs to be some accountability on his end even if it’s just him paying CS. He’s spent years trying to make me feel like he shouldn’t have to even contribute financially and he should seriously be fucking embarrassed and ashamed.

He’s spent more than half her life not working and at least 90% choosing to not be involved unless it’s making him look good to someone. The guy is a sick fucking joke and I’m just so ready for him to start helping, even if it’s just with money. There’s just too many deadbeats in the world and they really need to start making tougher child support laws because there’s no reason why the fuck there’s trillions of dollars owed. I get the whole deal where if they don’t work, can’t find them and they don’t have any assets that there isn’t much they can do but once they do find them, they need to put them in jail until they are ready to keep a job and let them know if they don’t keep a job, they are going to be locked up for quite some time.

It’s like with her Dad. If he’s not working and won’t physically be involved, why the fuck should he get to have his freedom too? I’ve spent years wondering this shit. He’s gotten to have just way too much control in this and the only control I have is to keep the CS case open and just hope that I’ll start seeing money and even when I do it’s never consistent because he’s always been enabled so he doesn’t have to work! The guy is a lazy, selfish fucking creep and I’ve fucking had it. If he would have kept the CS current and didn’t owe as much as he does, I wouldn’t try and have the shit modified but after him not paying for literally YEARS, it’s been a huge fucking set back for me.

He’s gotten to sit back and live for free for YEARS. Living completely care free. Absolutely zero responsibility even to himself. He’s never shown me any type of mercy so I won’t be showing him any either.