Jealousy and me in Just me

Yes, i used to be a very jealous person, i mean so jealous i couldn’t even think straight. i believed that i just wasn’t enough, not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not really what they want. A poly friend has helped me with it, i think it is healthy to feel jealous sometimes, but it’s not healthy to fixate on it or start to have horrible thoughts about yourself and/or others.. because i did. i know honest communication with both sides helps. i just need reassurance. i wasn’t always great about communicating my feelings, that was new to me, i am still working on that and i always will. i know i am enough. i also know that if someone wants to leave then they will, there’s nothing i can do except communicate and express how i feel, no matter how much i love them, will i fight? Hell yes i will. In the end, the decision will always be theirs. i don’t have that control.