My decision. in Since OD is shutting down....

So since last night when I asked him if we could discuss the Summer and then 2 hours later he responded with, “yeah” it made me remember all the times I had pleaded with him to get enrolled and that never happened so I’m pretty sure this is going to end up the same way. I don’t plan to say another word about the Summer or ask when he plans to leave because I don’t think he is.

There’s no sense in bugging anymore because I know he’s not leaving. I think it was just an excuse to quit his job and now he’s planning another Summer free to do whatever he wants while I get to entertain our child and not get to work because I can’t afford childcare on my own. I’m really sick of how he gets to just continuously stick me with everything so I’m going to get the paperwork mailed and then he can just pay more when he gets another job.

I have the mindset of ‘do what you’re gonna do and I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do’ because I know he’s hoping for me to get pissed and start popping off which just results in me blocking him so he can be off the hook and it’s my child to suffer and I’m not going down that path anymore so I’m going to keep my cool, let things be what they are and do what I need to do for him to be accountable.

I just can’t keep bugging about it because we both know where that ends up and I refuse to waste my energy on that. We both know what he is and that he’s never going to change and even if he does, it’s never long term. I’m just annoyed at the fact that at the end of next week, I’m on my own with my child for at least a month and possibly the entire Summer while he gets to just live his fucking life.

I remember how much time I wasted trying to convince him to get enrolled and that went nowhere and this is going to be the same thing. I just can’t give this guy any more attention. I already know how all of this is going to go and there’s no point in getting pissed about it and letting him know how much I’m bothered because that just gives him what he wants. He likes everything to be an option with jobs and his kid and there’s no changing that.

Again, I just hope whoever is reading my entries is very careful who they choose to lay down with. This is not a fun predicament to be in and I really hope I’m spreading awareness on deadbeats because I would give anything for things to make sense for my daughter and I. This is never going to get better because he isn’t ready to make real changes. He’s used to being coddled and having no real consequences so we’re back to the drawing board.