Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks in Current Events

I’ve been Hoe on the Go for the last day or so. I have a potentially fantastic opportunity this Wednesday. I’m going to an open house at an Aboriginal centre that does much work for the community. I haven’t had a chance to look at the programs yet, my friend will send me what I need later this evening, I hope. The programs that she feels I would be best suited for are the ones where I will be doing recreational activities with Aboriginal youth. They want these kids to have positive male role models and/or positive two-spirited role models to help keep kids out of the criminal system.

Since my episode of hearing voices, I have been seeing synchronicities. Serve your community the voice said to me. It sounded like my late grandmother. This feels right. I feel afraid but excited at the same time. I get to do ceremonies and engage in the culture like I’ve always wanted to do… and this way I even get paid for it.

The reason I want a doctorate to become a naturopath is so that I can help return the natural ways of healing that were stolen from the First Nations People. I want to start a non-profit that reaches out to indigenous communities to teach terrain theory. That helps fund First Nations people to get that education. I’ll teach it to whoever will listen, really. Of course, I’ll have to fight with the policymakers (not lawmakers).

I went for a walk with my friend Kyle yesterday. I told him that I was manifesting like crazy lately and then he witnessed it in real-time and it spooked him. A young man ran by and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. His physique was perfect and I mentioned it to him and he said that he wished he could have seen what he looked like from the front. I said that I wanted to see him again as well. Then I started a conversation about how hard it is for men our height to put on muscle versus the 5-footers. 25 minutes later, after I almost collapsed from a heat stroke, there he was. I didn’t really stare, I was noticing the other young man looking back at him with a little smirk on his face. It read I can look like that if I keep doing what I’m doing. It was adorable. I was also inspired to push myself. I am working out to failure now. I am aching for the gym really bad. I need funds first.

Kyle is doing good. He’s also trying to create change. (He has a Taurus moon). He’s ready to move on to something new. He really wants to work with a non-profit that is helping communities. He told me to hire him if I start mine up. He’s also quit smoking, again. My mind is playing a trick on me since our walk. It is fantasizing about us being in a romantic relationship. I don’t have time for that. I’m not attracted to him, like at all. We agree on nothing but are open-minded enough to be friends and talk about everything.

I spent the night at my sisters. I went there directly after visiting with Kyle. She had a meltdown immediately. Her kids and the dog are not listening to her. She wants to do things with her kids but they won’t listen and she has to punish them by not doing it. Which punishes her because she actually wants to do them. It was a nice visit. I always feel sad, and I feel homesick, whenever I leave. I love her kids. My niece is so big. That little girl I remember is an actual person now. A very bright person. My nephew is an impulsive, high-energy Aires with very little self-control. He’ll learn. He’s hilarious.

When I got home I went ham on my pull-up bar and weights. Then I messaged my friend Bruce to see if she wanted to get ice cream and then go for a walk by the creek. There is a place with vegan options near it. Her fiance, Alex, is the one who told me about applying at her work for programs. It feels right. She works with families that need healing. I’ll just be playing with children… from rough neighbourhoods. I also suspect that Bruce is going to ask me to be in her bridal party.

Alex, and Bruce, also want to learn how to make curries so we are going to plan an evening for it at my place. I invited Crystale because she is in the area. I will invite Kyle as well. He’s a fan of my cooking.

Things just feel good and correct even though it isn’t. Maybe I feel like they are on track. Alex will obviously put in an amazing word for me. I mostly just feel like a weight has been lifted since I spoke with my roommate. Though I have the existential threat of her moving out on me to fuck me over but that just lights a fire under my ass to find work because I really don’t want to lose this apartment. I love it here.

Last updated May 22, 2023