Goodbye, little baby in My life

Goodbye, little baby.

We came for an ultrasound last week, which was supposed to be my 8th week of pregnancy. The doctor said that the size of you looked more like 6 weeks along and they couldn’t detect your heartbeat. We weren’t told to be alarmed or anything, just that we needed to come back next week for another ultrasound, which we did today. Our ultrasound technician said she observed the same as last week and there was still no heartbeat. Then we waited an hour and a half for the doctor (which was fine for me– I actually have always been fascinated by hospitals and clinics).

Then the doctor came and told us what she thought happened and what the next steps would be. I was reassured that it wasn’t anything we did but of course we already knew that. I was just so shocked because as I understood it, the odds were so low: I was only almost 30 and I was in good health.

I learned that a missed miscarriage is a miscarriage without any outwards sign, and detected only by ultrasound.
https://www.babycentre.co.uk/x1014493/what-is-a-missed-miscarriage

Since we’ve got no heartbeat, the Church deems surgical removal okay. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2636458/

We got two ultrasound photos of you. You look like a little bean asleep in a hat. I think I’ll write “Baby ____, 2023” on the back and we’ll keep the photos.

I’m typing this as I have calmed down from tears, so I am sorry I don’t know what else I could say. Daddy has been a champ. He lost you too but he has to be strong for both of us. I think I should try to be strong for him, too.

Goodbye, little baby. Until we meet again.

“Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart is a memory
And there you’ll always be”