Mothers day and B turns 19 in Bittersweet

Yesterday was Mothers day and B turned 19.
When I was pregnant with him. Mothers day was a few days before. I went to the zoo and was trying to “walk the baby out” The tiger was super interested in me. Probably some pheromones going on there lol. It was following me back and forth outside of the enclosure. I even ran some that day because he was pacing back and forth with me and I thought it was funny. I was 19. This mothers day was quiet.
I got breakfast in bed for the first time ever. Rather I got chased BACK into bed lmao by T when I tried to get up. And he gave me 4 slices of bacon and a waffle. I ate half. We eventually went to lowes to get the supplies to build a bunkbed for B and Co. I bought flowers. Then to walmart and I bought pots lmao.
We had cake and I edited some photos of my saturday photoshoot. Really not much happened.
I had a few dizzy spells and had one pretty bad one. I figured out how to turn continuous monitoring for heartrates on with my watch so i can monitor my heart rate when it happens. Ive gone from 50-150 today. At rest. Im looking into POTS as a possibility now.
My boss said I could consider training my boyo as a service dog. They can detect migraines and heartrate spikes that come with POTS. He is 6, ill have to look into what it takes to train him.. I know for migraines you train them to detect the smell. Like the smell of your breathe when you have a migraine and they can smell it like 24 hrs in advance. I could teach him to detect heartrate changes. All that can really be done is sit down until it passed. My boss asks what she is supposed to do if I pass out at work. I said there isnt much. I come out of it after a few minutes. Either my BP drops or my HR spikes but once im down, it passes. And researching POTS it really is just that… Your HR spikes and you go down and it passes when your HR stablizes. The trick is to not hit something on the way down.... Like its all I can do…
I get so dizzy now.

The thing is, Im fucked.
There is nothing I can do.
Im literally screwed.

I just have to deal....
Ive been pretty depressed the last couple of days and its probably hormones or whatever. Stress. Everything I guess? Just a lot