Child Support!! in Since OD is shutting down....

Okay so, he claims he’s to get paid tonight and there’s still nothing showing on the website for payment. I’ve called and talked to new caseworker where I was informed that I should see something by Monday and she brought up me possibly modifying our order for support. I have never done that because he’s always accused me of being hungry and I didn’t want to prove him right and because he doesn’t stay employed for long and I thought it would end up just making it lower but she told me that it will go up whether he’s working or not. The cost of living goes up every year and so did minimum wage.

My caseworker is going to send me the paperwork and I’m probably going to fill it out and send it in. She said that it takes about a month and the hearing is done over the phone. Even if he doesn’t respond to the letters, the hearing will still happen and it will automatically put increased even if he chooses to not participate, which we all know he won’t because he’s all about avoiding accountability and I know that he’ll get the letters and disregard thinking if he blows it off that the hearing won’t happen and then be screaming that he’s to pay more in CS!

I have tried so hard to stay reasonable in this and I don’t want to take more money from him but I don’t get CS, I’ve seen 1 payment in 2 years now and by trying to be reasonable, it hasn’t had a positive affect at all. With inflation and everything being so expensive, I seriously need to plan on getting back to work and could use the CS to get childcare so I can plan to get a fucking job. I am so unbelievably sick of being in this predicament where I can’t plan on him contributing anything to his child and I’m expected to figure absolutely everything out on my own. I’m only one person and there’s only so much I can do!!

My friend even said this morning that he’s going to get mean once they start taking his money so really, I have nothing to lose. He’s gotten a free pass all these years by not being there physically or financially and it’s affected our lives and mental health more than I’ll ever be able to put into words.

I’m tired of not being able to think outside the box. So after next Friday, there will be no after school program and school is out June 2nd. She didn’t get a spot in the Summer program and the other program I plan to put her in when she turns 6 may or may not be accepting new kids so I may not have any type of childcare for the Summer unless I start working. I would really like to start seeing money from him so I can pay someone to watch my daughter and be able to get back to work.

This is a bullshit predicament to be in and I’m so beyond ready for it to change. I know he’s going to hit the fucking roof once he learns that I’m looking to get more money from him but I have gone YEARS not seeing a dime and it’s really set us back. It doesn’t affect my child because I have always made sure she’s taken care but it’s affected me and I’ve gone without a lot. He has no real regard for how any of his actions have affected us and he proved that last night by telling me to stop child support! I just want to know how someone could be like this.

He likes to tell everyone how much he loves his child but has gone out of his way to avoid any and all responsibility to her since we found out I was pregnant. These people don’t know a fraction of what he’s done or how he’s treated us.

I don’t want to be unfair but I also need to look at how much it would help us to get more in CS, that’s if he actually keeps his job and pays it and worry more about US and not how mean he’s going to be. He’s always had his own motives for coming around and then once the realization kicks in that things aren’t gonna go his way then he’s crazy again.

I have been inside this mental box for so long knowing my family doesn’t help and neither does he and I’m so sick of it. I want to live my life too. She should be just as much his responsibility as she is mine but it’s always going to be on me to make sure she’s taken care of. I drive an old ass car with a shit load of miles and I want to be able to buy another one before this one breaks down. I want to start saving to buy a house. I want to be be able to be around other adults and possibly build a social life. I’m ready to start living again. I feel like so much has been stripped away from me because of him.