Siren in Current Events

I’m still having vivid dreams since I quit coffee. Regular coffee that is. Everything else has been corrected since I started drinking mushroom coffee. I have one portion left so I decided to order another one. Your sleep will be better. They said. You’ll have better bowel movements. You’ll have more energy. Lies! All of it. It’s all fallen back into place since I started drinking the mushroom coffee. However, I need to stop drinking it on an empty stomach. The one I ordered is a different one. It says that it is keto friendly so I’m sure it will be okay to drink while I fast. The current one I have is also keto-friendly, I assume. I was curious though.

Last night I dreamt that I was working at the restaurant I spent 13 years at. I was enjoying it. Then we ran out of a product and it became my problem. Everything was my problem. I hated being a manager. I wasn’t enjoying it after that, in my dream.

I was manifesting people yesterday. It started first thing in the morning when I started to scroll through my feeds. I saw one guy, Quincy, that I had one interaction with a while ago and I thought to myself you don’t call you don’t write and then he randomly messages me in my DMs. Like what? Then I was wondering if Kyle was going to get back to me about getting together for a visit and he finally reaches out. I was thinking about how I offered to teach my cousin Crystal how to make minestrone when we went to our grandfather’s funeral together and she messages me in my DMs as well. She will bring her 8 month old and I can’t wait to hold her baby because I have baby fever. Then while I was visiting with Bev at her place I was trying to remember what her mother’s name was and she randomly showed up on her bike. It’s Shirley.

Quincy is a professional astrologer and tarot card reader. I didn’t get a reading or anything but we did discuss each other’s charts. He showed me his chart because I said that I knew he would have Pisces in it and he does. His Venus is in Pisces. He’s seen mine last time. When I referenced it I said that I was evil incarnate. He agreed that it is a very dark chart. It’s a very powerful chart. One that makes me a powerful manifester. He mentioned how it demands a lot of information. He’s right, that’s exactly what I get fixated on. He asked me to describe what his chart says about him. I’m so novice, well maybe adept.

Off the bat, I knew he and I were around the same age. Uranus, Neptune and Scorpio are generational. I told him that what I look for right away is brain power. I want to know how a person’s mind might work. I described what I saw and he agreed. He’s a Capricorn with a Virgo rising. That’s big brain energy. He’s double earth like myself. I’m a Capricorn with a Taurus rising.

I mentioned how I was a bad Capricorn because I don’t have any success to my name. He said that I cannot blame my chart because it is built for high success, I must have a fear holding me back. I do. My chart is absolutely built for success. Capricorn and Taurus, like come on.

Capricorn is about career and reputation, and Taurus is about success and finances. My 10th house (which is Capricorn) has Jupiter in it. That is one of the luckiest placements to have. Jupiter is about abundance, this is where I am destined to expand. However, I am not in my purpose. My chart is built for me to be a healer and philosopher. A Shaman, a Guru, a Religious Leader… a cult leader. The biggest and deadliest cult leaders of our time were Taurus Risings. My chart demands that I have faith as well. I have a stellium in the 8th house (which is Scorpio) which is in Sagittarius. Religion, philosophy and sex, oh my! This Sagittarius placement demands a lot of faith in myself. Sagittarius has toxic optimism and things come so easily to them not that they can see it. Sag and Pisces can be spoiled brats that way. Sag is ruled by Jupiter which is about abundance and expansion but with the 8th house in it, it’s not a stable area because the 8th house is ruled by Scorpio and Mars. It’s about growth and transformation. Mars and Saturn are the two malefic planets and they are the two big players in my chart. I have a Capricorn & Scorpio stellium. Venus rules my overall chart though and she is one of the two main benefics. Jupiter is the other one.

Quincy mentioned that my guides are probably screaming at me loudly. They really are. I’ve been seeing synchronicities again. It feels like everything is adding up to something. My little world is hanging in the balance and I am trying to find opportunities but I feel as though I am being called to create my own opportunities. I feel that I know which direction to go but it’s way out of my comfort zone.

Anyway, I woke up ready to fight. My roommate had the place to herself when I went out and she didn’t do anything about that laundry basket that she is hiding in her room that is overflowing with weeks of dirty tupperware from her lunches. She’s a grown-ass adult, that’s so disgusting. I was describing it to Bev when we went for our walk and I mentioned how she explained to me, during one of our casual conversations, how she will deliberately not do something when she is asked to do it. That’s when Bev introduced me to O.D.D, Oppositional Defiant Disorder which goes hand in hand with her ADHD. When I looked into it that is 100% her. That is where her child-like psychology comes from. Those two paired together almost make a complete picture. I am aiming to bring it up today. I want to be nice about it. I am walking on eggshells here when all I want to do is blow up like a frustrated parent. Clean your damn room!!

I managed to actually do some reading yesterday. I have problems focusing. I grabbed a different book from the one I have been trying to get through. The Light of Egypt. It’s going to get into the metaphysics that the bible is actually talking about. The parentage of Christianity is Egpytian. I only managed to read one chapter because as I became more awake my mind would start getting intrusive thoughts about the day. About my life. I need to train my focus. I will read another chapter today. It’s high concept and it requires one to leave their dogmatic beliefs about reality and $cience at the door.

Anyway, on with my day. I have to be thinking about opportunities so that I can manifest one. I’m not good at toxic optimism or toxic positivity. Of course, when I say manifest I don’t mean that it will magically fall on my lap. I need to think and act like somebody who is good at finding opportunities and then it will come. You want to manifest being a fitness model? Think like a fitness model, eat like a fitness model, train like a fitness model, and do what fitness models do. Then it will come. That’s how it works. The last time I used that word to describe something Toni, my roommate, went on some tangent about how stupid that is. I had to explain it to her. She thinks everything that she doesn’t understand is stupid. That’s low-level thinking. I don’t understand this so that means that this is dumb and I’m not.