replication/i want last yr. back in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

'yeah. maturing's a weird thing. I realised this awhile ago. it doesn't feel quite right. it feels a bit terrifying, actually.

I want last yr back. even though yes I was sick. I've never been that sick in my life. my god. no but that's. not really why I want it back.

I want it back bc you were sweet. bc you were there. bc you were devoted. and yeah maybe that's bc you had to be bc you, i'd surmise, were scared. as I probably terrified you.

no but that's what I miss about it. is how you were. w/ me. all I have are memories. and to get that back I've been trying to replicate it. I don't know that seeing you once a wk. is going to cut it. I know what I want to do about it [as usual. you know me and decision making] but as for you...........

well. that was it for this text. '