13 bags trash gone, schizophrenia difficulty,someday home, in Just Life

I am the family member everyone ignores until they need something. I am loud and annoying but if you need something done I am the one that can move mountains if needed. People depend on me to take on what they cannot.. I am like Luisa it isn’t how heavy it is. Its where do you want me to move this to? Encanto knows how to call people out. I take on the world when others think it’s simply to heavy..

In the past 2 days I have bagged 13 construction bags worth of garbage. My mom around this time last year had a schizophrenic episode so bad she was hearing voices. She destroyed her who house. Garbage everywhere. I have been working full time running mom and me to our doctor appointments and been running my husband back and forth from work. I am always so exhausted.

Talan and mom refuse to help me clean mom’s house. Mom is traumatized because its where dad died in 2018. Her depression destroyed her mental health and that house. I have decided that is my family home and I plan to clean it up and spend the rest of my life there. It will take a lot of hard worth but anything worth it is worth the battle.

Talan refuses to help me clean. When I wanted to haul the garbage away he argued with me till he got his way about burning the garbage. I can’t depend on him to help me in the house but he loves to burn the bags. It isn’t much but at least it’s something. God knows mom refuses to help me clean her house.

I have most of the living room cleaned. I hope soon it will be cleaned enough to vacuum the floor. I know I am working on this house a little each day after work but I can really see a change in the house since I got started.

I could have cleaned it earlier last year but mom’s schizophrenia convinced her she was rich and God blessed her with all the stuff anytime I bagged anything mom argued heavily with me how she needed all her stuff. Hoarding is a psychological condition. Her mess with the only thing she felt she controlled. She swore she talked to angels and demons. I year on Latuda has made mom so much better. She still refused to clean her house she lives in mine but hey no voices and eating better.

She still has her eating disorder. She starves because she is terrified she is fat. We have to make her eat When I was pregnant she pointed out how fat I got. I felt ashamed of myself. When I found out I was pregnant I kept it quiet for a while. She pointed out my weight one time I told her blame that on your grandchild not me.. suddenly she got very quiet. I told her eat her peanut butter sandwich and be quiet. Mom quickly apologized. I gained a lot of weight very quickly bad nausea. I miscarried in March. I really wanted that child.

I need to get a battery for dad’s drill.i plan to order it online. I am going to use his tools to fix the house back up. Someday I will be back home..