“Made Entirely of Hovering” in Everyday Ramblings

The title is a line from a poem I read to class today. In the poem it was about a tree, but I feel like it describes me right now.

After an usual and intense thunderstorm and heavy downpour yesterday late afternoon we are moving into a sunny patch. I wonder if the tomato and basil plants that were damaged by the rain will recover.

I wonder a lot of things these days. Tomorrow is the 13th anniversary of Mr. Finch’s death. It is hard to believe it has been that long. Walt wanted us to write about books that changed the way we see the world last week, and I wrote about the first book in a mystery series that describes the relationship between the Tibetan people and the Chinese government called The Skull Mantra by Eliot Pattison.

Mr. Finch and I read and shared all the books that were available in the series while he was alive. They are dark and full of the deepest kind of human connection, and they certainly changed the way I see Tibetan Buddhism and Chinese hierarchy. (The books also explain what the Chinese are currently doing to the Uyghurs, because it is the same.) We got our tattoos based on those books.

Thinking about this, remembering talking about the books, joking about the books, sharing reflections on the books in that language that close companions share opened a tender place in my heart I didn’t realize was still healing.

One of the guys asked me last month why I kept the flag that covered his coffin out. I was wondering out loud what the workmen would think seeing it there as they traipsed around the apartment. I keep it with a photo of Mr. Finch as an adorable golden child that his family gave me.

So, on Saturday I went to see a one man show that “my” organization, Walt’s thing was sponsoring called *Fire in the Meth Lab”. A version of which you can sample

Afterwards Walt described it as painfully funny. We ran it as a benefit for an organization that serves mostly troubled youth here called Outside In.

The story is about Jon’s family in rural Australia, but specifically his next oldest brother who became an addict. We saw it in this old warehouse art makers space, and there were maybe 40 people, so it was quite intimate. He did interact with the audience a fair amount. He is a very good storyteller, it was funny and touching but as one got deeper into it, it became an inquiry and exploration of a dysfunctional family.

The young people in the audience enjoyed it more, laughed harder. He makes himself vulnerable and the story is quite personal. He showed us his tattoos at the end after it was over.

But with my heart wide open like it was, it all was a bit challenging to bear. Mrs. Sherlock and I were the only people there wearing masks. (I am getting my next booster on Friday.)

I know most of you have been out and about doing all the things, but it felt like I was half out of a cocoon that I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave with the emotional intensity. The guy in our group that pitched the idea of this show is a psychologist and that makes sense.

That coupled with the in-person discussion on Ukraine earlier was a lot for one week.

There is no timeline on the repairs. The tub shower combo are out. At least they are doing something.

I am just out here hovering.

Last updated May 10, 2023