i deserve better/"i'm not the most reliable right now" *E* in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

yeah so we jut talked. evan and I. and he told me that. but I want him to be. he's the one person i'm closest to right now. and have been for a long time. and that's where my fault lies. not my fault but my flaw. this is what I meant in my um. ocean metaphor thingy. when I put 'there's only one other person in the ocean and they're miles away'. everyone else is up there on the surface and no one else is allowed to come this close.

yeah well. when will he be reliable? next Tues.? 2 wks. from now? in a month? cause I don't want to wait. [yeah I know well then don't]. if it weren't someone I were close to then. it wouldn't be an issue. yeah but. i'd rather be in the ocean w/ someone who's miles away then be in it alone. cause if you're not there alone then. there's still hope. but if you are then. there isn't. and that really sucks. and it hurts too. [i'd know. my best friend died almost a yr. and a half ago and I lost that]. again i'd rather be in his world. than without him. in mine.

that's how drug addicts are. I've, recently read. is they don't give you a detailed answer. I don't know if he does drugs or not.