the future in poetry

there's a poem that I wanted to do
but I'm having trouble with my smart phone
and so I'm stalling for time
I'm stalling for time
by saying these words

I'm stalling for time because
every time I try to tap back on the browser
it doesn't go back
it just sits there
it just sits there blankly
doing nothing
as if my taps and swipes are prayers
to an absent or unloving god
so I am stalling for time waiting for this fucking smart phone to work

I am stalling for time
because this is supposed to be the future
this is supposed to be the fucking future
if I forget to print up a poem
before leaving my house for the show
I should be able to pull my piece up
off the fucking cloud
I should be able to go to my writing journal
with the wi-fi that I'm stealing from the venue
and with two or three taps
and a half-a-minute of stalling on stage
muttering half-clever
flattering bullshit to the audience
and what a beautiful audience you are
and thank you all for coming out tonight
and supporting local performance art
in that little span of time
I should be able to call the piece up on my phone
and then have it ready to read

but it isn't ready
because my phone is being an asshole
and isn't doing anything

it isn't my fault
I spent fucking four fucking hundred dollars on this phone
well my ex-girlfriend did
because I'm a broke fucking poet
but you get the fucking point
this is the fucking future
and this is a fucking four fucking hundred fucking dollar fucking smart fucking phone
and it should be able to fucking work
because it was expensive
and it's the fucking future!
it's the fucking future! it is supposed to be
the fucking
future

I HATE THIS FUCKING PHONE
I HATE THIS FUCKING PHONE
FUCKING WORK PHONE
I AM BOMBING AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT
this is supposed to be the future
I didn't get a jet pack
or a flying car
or a light saber
or a Star Wars transporter
but the trade off was supposed to be
that we had this little thing in our pocket
about the size of a high-school calculator
and if we paid four hundred dollars up front
and sixty dollars a month after that
we would have the accumulated knowledge
of the entire history of the human race
ready to be conjured out of the ether
and really
that is almost as cool as a jet pack if you think about it

IF IT WOULD FUCKING WORK

AHHH
AHHH FUCK
WORK WORK FUCK YOU WORK
AHH
AHH

I BLAME YOU
VERZION I
BLAME
YOU