It's Monday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve had some coffee. I’m trying to figure out what to do about insurance. I can’t find a good number to call that once place so I’ll probably just stay with the place I currently have insurance. I also have a paper in the car I need to fill out and mail back so I’ll probably do that pretty soon. I’m trying to hold off going to the grocery store simply because I don’t want to go today.

My daughter was sluggish getting up this morning. I got her pretty late last night from my brother’s and got her fast food for dinner just because it was so late and she didn’t want what we had at home but we won’t be getting fast food again this week. I’m going to limit this crap to once a week. I’ve actually deleted the McDonald’s app off my phone and we are going to start eating every meal at home and she’s gonna have to learn to deal with that or go hungry because we have to start cutting back. I’ve let this go on long enough and I am not able to replace the money I’m spending and I have no idea what the future holds so it’s time to start penny pinching.

She had a good weekend though. The big sister took her to a place where she got to jump and run around for a couple hours and then got Taco Bell on Saturday and then we picked up my niece and hit 2 different parks and then she spent the night. She then went to my brother’s house for several hours yesterday so she was pretty busy. We went to the park yesterday morning for awhile where she spent too much time on the monkey bars so the inside of her hands are sore.

I will say my daughter definitely has it better than I did as a kid and I know she’s too young to really understand how to be appreciative but I definitely start to feel like she just sees me as a servant and nothing I do is ever good enough. As a child, we lived in poverty and NEVER got to get fast food and a lot of times we couldn’t even afford to eat at home so for her to want fast food all the time and not appreciate how good we do have it, I would like to find a way for her to know that we really do have it good.

As a parent, I will take full responsibility for this because for a long time I let guilt get the best of me because of her Dad being absent so I felt that I needed to make up for it so we were always getting fast food and snacks but now it’s just expected. I have told her over the weekend I’m not going to be buying any more chips or candy because she just refuses to eat dinner but then wants to sit around and eat junk food that’s just empty calories. I’m angry at myself that I’ve allowed her to run all over me with the fast food thing and even skip over dinner and eat sweets or just garbage and now I’m going to put my foot down.

I have went and cancelled the gym membership because we just don’t use it and I don’t see us using it in the future and I refuse to keep paying for it. I still have to pay it for this month and can use it and then we’re done. I got my daughter a free pool pass for the Summer so we’ll use that. I also got us some groceries but I’m still concerned about getting through the next week so we need to just pay attention to making good meals and leftovers.