Just Keep Believing in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

Though it feels like winter is here I am certain to be in the middle of autumn, my annual connection to God's earthly flow. My beauty spills over in colorful personality, humor, love and moodiness from morning to night. My intelligence takes flight and briefly I become optimized. Soon though I will run from cold before sun rises to hot mid-day and back again as the sun sets. The chill of an early fall calls me deeply, to quickly retreat to my warm, quiet place as the dormancy of the season takes hold of all living things. By nature I have always been compelled to participate in the seasonal change.

This year, less than all in my life the season is being gentle on my mind. I'm but quiet, gently withdrawn, yet capable of being with people who feel vivaciously alive, knowing I can go home to my quiet place. I find them delightful as long as they stay twenty feet away, closer and they become noise and a threat to my need to be solitary. In a new strange way I need them, my new kinfolk. They feed me and keep God's water of life flowing in me. I accept this need and call on Christ to carry me now.

And so it is all good. I need to believe that. Grow my faith, Lord I beg this of you.

My dear Lord, I come to you asking for you to release my mind from wrongful thoughts. Though they are many I have one I am at battle with and am not of enough faith yet to win over. I need you to lead me to another door, to show me to again how to trust in and believe in your sovereign power, to give me complete faith that in you all things are possible, even for me. There is it, truth that I still don't feel you can possibly love me enough to make me whole. I've never been loved such that another wanted the best for me, it's hard to accept. Where is my faith?

God, I've been sick for a long time but this past year all I see is you have healed me, but for so many years I was told I will never be well. Oh the conflict in my mind! I believe with all my heart and soul you are the reason I am well. I struggle to believe I will stay well within my messed up belief system, and I need you to help me to change it now. Remove from my reality the concept of remission or healing being a fantasy, please God take it from my mind. It's holding me back in so many ways, in my faith in you most of all.

I know that you Lord are stronger than any words I've ever been told, I plea you take their power away and replace it with you. Fill my mind with you, along with my heart. You've healed my illness now heal my thoughts of mis-information. Restore me, heal the mental wounds I carry. Redeem me for I know in you all things are possible.