Comin home in 2023

I’m sitting in the airport, waiting to board my flight home .. home. Is it home anymore?

I’ve never sat here alone and not talked to you while waiting. Not planned what our evening would look like when I get home. I’m trying not to let the tears fall. I haven’t booked a cab or anything for when I land. I guess I’ll just walk out the doors and hope for the best.

Everyone moves around me, life going on and on and on .. but my world has stopped and I don’t know how to make it go again.

I can’t make the music any louder in my headphones. Trying to drown everyone out. I just want to be alone. I guess I’ll be alone enough for a while now ..

I’ve lost almost a month. 3 weeks since you’ve been gone. How? It still feels like moments ago .. moments so slowly in my head … when will they be replaced with your smile? Your laugh? The feel of your arms around me?

Everything feels different. The air. The sun. The sky. The ground. It all feels strange. I’m so very different. So very different.

I’m so glad you don’t have to feel what I feel. I’m so glad I’m the one that has to go through this and not you. I couldn’t imagine you feeling this pain, this ache, this loss. I can’t.

I must. I will. For you.