july 10, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'Yeah I know. I've known that for yrs. what the hell do you think I'm talking to you for?

It's like he's saying 'you need help but I won't be the one to give it to you'. Like 'oh I don't care enough to help you'. well. then don't.

He's not the first person who's told me that and he prolly won't be the last. The main reason I haven't gotten any in yrs? .......well. I don't want my parents knowing. It's not that they won't like it ti's that I don't rock the boat. End of story. Sure maybe when I'm 50.......if I even live that long. But considering I have a decade long eating disorder we'll see. [and, to quote Nikki Sixx, I still wonder how the hell I'm still here].

Ya know what. Writing is what I'm ready for. That's an ongoing but not daily thing. I'm sorry but I've never mentioned how people can help themselves. No bc I am that help.

I'm not the most responsible I don't have a lot of money [well no given I don't work and the money I do have I spend on groceries] and I don't want to be treated differently just bc of that. Like oh if I don't show up it's ok. bc I'm not good w/ that.

Everyone could use a bit more help. But don't mention that again. In fact don't ever mention it.