Selfishness and Control. in Since OD is shutting down....

So, my Mom got her job back at the place she worked a couple of years ago. I don’t really understand because she’s definitely got some memory issues on top of mental health problems and she has a lot of medical issues to boot. I think it’s bullshit that she hasn’t been allowed to babysit for about a year and a half now but it’s okay for her to have a job?

I am still pretty sickened by just how much control my Dad has had all these years. I’ve never had much of a relationship with my Mom where she’s never really been physically present and it’s very upsetting that my daughter is starting to notice. I do agree that when she did babysit it was just a complete disaster but she’s never making any type of effort to even come over and hang out either.

It’s ridiculous that he would tear up their house when she’d come over to babysit but wasn’t doing it when she’s at work. I think it’s really bullshit how I’ve only ever asked her to babysit for maybe 3-4 hours but she can be at work for 8?! I think his issues with her babysitting is he can’t be here because he knows I don’t want him around my kid so therefore he can’t keep an eye on her and there’s the issue that he doesn’t benefit from it like he does when she works.

Sometimes it’s hard to not get angry at how much our lives have been affected by selfishness. My kid’s Dad isn’t around because the bar and drinking is more important plus it hurts me and then my Mom can’t be around because my Dad has this issue with control and has made it clear that she’s going to face consequences if she were to leave the house and he’s not able to keep tabs on her every move.

I think that because I’ve watched how much control he’s had over my Mom all these years, basically my whole life has a lot to do with why I’d rather be single. I just don’t understand why if you are in a relationship that this is the kind of shit that you have to tolerate. Like if you are with someone, you don’t get to have a life outside of it. I don’t know how you would be okay with this and just go about your life like this shit is normal. For me, I would seriously lose my fucking mind. There’s no way I would ever put up with this shit, even for one fucking day.

She told me that she got hired back and starts Tuesday. I didn’t even bother to ask about weekends because whether she works or not, it’s not like she would come over or babysit anyways. I’m sure she’ll work every weekend just like she did before because he wants to make damn sure that her babysitting is completely off the fucking table. Like, I don’t know how you could be like this and not ever feel like a selfish prick. My daughter doesn’t get to have a relationship with my Mom because of him. Fucking ridiculous. It’s pretty pitiful that a grown ass man that’s pushing 70 is just so hell bent in having full control over here which inadvertently is having control over anyone that wants to have a relationship with her.