july 31, 2012* in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'Mermaids, gorgeous glass women.

SA TW

Please Be Kind. & Supportive. No Advice.

Um. So. My PTSD's gotten worse which, isn't all that surprising. As has my schizophrenia. The other day itreally fukin hit me the schizophrenia. and the um. 'circus visits'. I haven't had one that bad in months.

well I mean they merge. When I 'visit the circus' it's the bunny who's. doing.stuff.to.me. yeah........ when we [Max, James & I] were watching that show Over There the other weekend er. well. there's a character in it who has PTSD and as we're watching it Max says something about "wow that sucks" and I'm "that's something no one should ever have to go through".

yeah. i know it sucks. I have it.

James has been handling it all beautifully.......wonderfully. and I told him that this past weekend too. He's like 'good bc I don't know what to do'. No he's doing exactly what I want him to do. I'm his gorgeous glass woman, as of late. he's been so careful w/ me lately. [yes..........yes.......but the other side of that is the thing w/ glass, uh, items is 1; you want to be careful w/ it and B; how many people actually take the time to stopp and look at glass in their cases and such. Obviously that's a musing and please don't misconstrue that as anything else/don't answer a question that isn't there.   

.......But that was back when we were having issues & I was feeling ignored. But we're better now. Of course, more on that later.

Also, I recently asked him if I could be - btw you might not fully understand this, so. - a mermaid and he's like 'no' bc...........you can't be w/ a mermaid as much as you want to. Physically. well but see then that's the entire point is that they're protected.down.there. i mean makes sense].

Uh so anyway.

<strike>E bc I'm knackered as hell.