aug. 16 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'So last night I went to the bar. and looked damn good. and apparently this guy - Al - who hit on me quite a bit agreed. In his words I was/am "entirely too sexy". being much older than me he felt bad about it but I'm like "no this is actually good for me since that way my boyfriend can be like 'see? i told you you were hot'.

See.........it's interesting. I'm one of those people where, I'm so humble about things like that - when someone tells me "you're pretty" or hot or w/e - that it's almost to the point where I don't have much.um. 'confidence'. well I'm workin on it. I also don't get told that a lot [by which I mean daily] so it always surprises me when I am. [or], in the words of my man when he was talkin 'bout me in ref. to the above: 'wow you really think i'm pretty?'.

[and............on that note.........from Firefly: "is it bc i'm pretty?" "yes. it's bc you're pretty". yayyy!].

I was in black. miniskirt, ruffle short sleeve, flats my sister gave me. the fedora, as usual. miniskirts work for me.

and i don't even have to try. to be sexy.

Oh so also. i had a good night, for the most part.

So........I'm sitting by myself, as usual. And this chick who I later find out is Autumn [though she didn't look like an 'Autumn' which is why I keep thinking of her as Amber or Kim or Kristina. And B: in high school I knew these girls Amber and Autumn, who were friends. both brunettes as was the Autumn I met last night]. comes over and invites me to sit w/ her and her friend Christina. and I'm like ok sure. you seem cool. I inform Autumn it's almost my bday and she..........buys me 2 shots. and I was only hoping for 1. SoCO w/ something and........something else that's pretty. The manager's like "you like SoCo? since when?" uh........   "since Christmas.". i've only ordered malibus there, so. And I like them but I've gotten used to them. yeah one of these days i'ma order a jack & coke. idk that sounds sexy when a chick's doin that. I don't like Jack and not a big fan of coke but. it just works. it's the classic American drink.

I like Guiness too for that matter. and other.beer.

Oh and I kill the last of Autumn's white Russian. [that's kinda funny, out of context. entirely, out of..........yeah ok]. they're good. they're surprisingly really good.

We talk for awhile. My first song is Don't Rain On My Parade. from. Funny Girl. cause that's a fun song and i like it a lot and. well, the bday thing. The karaoke lady comes over to me and she's like 'I don't have that version but I have the one from the Broadway version. W/ Barbra Streissand'. um........Broadway? like, really? I can do Broadway. That, Sinatra/Dino and uh rock are my 3 best..............genres [there we go]. I haven't performed that song in months. And I perform it. Not just stand there and sing.

And people like it.

By this time I'm a bit drunk. So I don't have any more booze. You know I didn't want to be that hungocer today. If it were just a random day it'd be like yeah, w/e. I actually wasn't expecting to drink. I'm trying to cut back and I told..............Autumn that. I ordered water when I came in. I also told her she had nice legs.

er............................I also sang Ingrid Michaelson's Take Me The Way I Am. it's cute, short. actually quiet. mellow.

And then w/ Christina and the karaoke lady [who, last wk I find out her name is Amanda], i sing the end of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. and w/........Autumn and her other friend a bit of Summer Nights from Grease. Autumn told me I was good. well yeah..........that show has been on Broadway. and, as mentioned. oh and also, thank you.

I will never do Let It Snow w/ anyone other than James cause it's our song. and it wouldn't mean as much.

The guy who hit on me, Al asks if he can serande me. this was earlier in the night. yeah absolutely. go right ahead. So he sings..........er......  Lonestar's Amazing, Light My Fire [the Doors] and Unchained Melody. i love the last one it's so pretty. and it's sweet. it means that much for me to think it's sweet. and for the first one I flirt w/ him. put on a show of my own. [since apparently i'm a vixen. and that's why...........the lady is a tramp. which can also mean 'hobo']. I had fun.

I'll flirt, yeah but it won't mean that much. I mean it's fun. And I like it.

So this other guy talks to me. We talk about music for 10 mins. he's sweet. and quiet which I like. We have a good talk. He apparently finds me adorable. hey I'll give anyone a chance untill you give me a reason not.to.

Near the end of the night someone does Santanna's 'Smooth'. and oh god. that song makes me feel sexy. I get up start dancin. the just-mentioned guy starts dancing w/ me. and it's pretty hot. omygod.

yeah...........I still got it. [which makes me sound a lot older than i actually am].