sept. 27, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'yes this again.

So, my ankle isn't sore. well it hasn't been sore constantly just off and on. The bruises are though. when something bumps them. I can move it now. My foot's sore though. but, again, just off and on. And interestingly that's not bruised. My tendons have been sore though.

This is Day 4 of recovery.

So I'm still sick. got sick Monday. whatever my boyfriend had over last weekend he gave me. even though we didn't lip-lock. no just spent most of the weekend in bed. I've been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. well but i've been sick/sore, so. Like, it's getting fukin ridiclous. I'll wake up and be up for 1 - 2 hrs. and then go back to sleep. my god. And I never get sick. like.ever. Other than my period/a hangover/the occassional random getting sick. But I mean w/ a cold/the flu. I'm about the last person in the world you'd expect to get sick. I just don't get sick. I'm, ironically pretty healthy. 'Ironic' bc I've had an eating disorder for 10+ yrs. and been in recovery from it for 4. My dad also never gets sick. But then again he's a soccer ref, so. that helps. you know, being active and such. And I walk everywhere took dance for 10 yrs. again, the active thing. I grew up drinking milk which I now find boring. milk i mean. So that helps overall.

Like, I hate that I have to basically make myself eat. at least a bit each day not a lot. I have no appetite lately. [another reason I want weed. cause then if I'm baked I get hungry. not as hungry as when I'm baked off nutmeg though. I get hungrier off that]. My senses are dulled which isn't surprising. I got fruit yesterday Chipotle today. But I know all too well what happens if/when you don't eat. I also haven't wanted anything. Well other than chai which I got at the store today. Which I think is really good that I actually want something.

Which is good. er i mean the whole, not getting sick.thing. Well it is and it isn't. It means that when I'm sick it seriously kicks my @$$. really does a number. as does my period.

So maybe if I were sick more often it wouldn't as much? hm..... there are the advantages and disadvantages there. Now that doesn't mean go and intentionally get me sick. No since that'd be one of the few things I'd consider rude.

Oh but ya know what's great for congestion? yogurt. Learned that yrs ago from The Today Show. it works too. i swear by it now. tell your friends. I, also don't believe in taking pills, so. other than, again. for my period/a hangover/and apparently a twisted ankle. But that's just me. It's funny I'm putting that bc before I went out today I had a bit of Nyquill. yeah..........I know. now who's the hypocrite? yeah really. And I'm 10 - 20% better. I wish they wouldn't make the stupid cups you get w/ Nyquill, Pepto, etc so wide. I cannot shoot out of them. bc they're so wide. I can shoot from normal shot glasses. well, kindof. haven't opened my throat yet while doing so. which apparently helps. I think part of my problem is I have sensitive teeth [though ya know what helps? warm water] and lately when we - myself, the boyfriend and the couple. Talking of the couple it was their 1 yr last weekend - we've* been shooting we drink the liquor straight from the fridge/freezer. yeah cold and sens. teeth don't mix well. Like I can shoot just not the way most people do. But it works for me, so. even though it's different from the norm. Actually that's not why I bought the Nyquill. I'm apparently one of those people who doesn't use/buy things for their intended purpose. Nyquill......wine glasses.........um other. things.

Oh so w/ the shooting. I'm referring of course to booze/drinking. er..........boozing.

I'm glad I didn't go out [to the bar] last night much as I would've loved to. I can't freakin sing. No like not even I'm having an off day/can't find my pitch. I actually can't sing. I can talk though so that's good. But for recovery purposes I've been doing less of that than usual. So there's that. Also, yesterday early morning when I went out to bring in my mail - which takes 2 - 5 mins - by the time I got back my foot was killing me. Yeah if it hurts that much after that short amount of time then there's no way I would've been able to walk to the bar, which is 10 - 15 mins away, last night in my flats. even if it had just been sick and not the ankle/leg thing or the reverse. yeah........um........i still wouldn't've gone. As a dancer [I still consider myself one even though I've not taken classes since I was in college] we learn how important our bodies are. and understand/realise how much they do for us.

So, as for this coming weekend. Um. We're going to spend the entirety of it at my place. We usually do splits [as in. split weekends] but given we spend the entirety of last weekend at his place, well. we're not going to do that for this one. I also know I won't want to do anything other than spend it in bed, being sick/recovering and all. And I know the couple will want to do stuff, even if it's just card-playing or hanging out or going to the store. At least w/ depression I physically can go places even if I've not got the wherewithall [sp?] to. Ya know? Like, ok yeah I would've wanted to see the gay people.........Brittany and her mom........Gwen and Keith...... Holly, Alex last night. and the couple this weekend but. I just can't.

Oh yeah although I've mentioned this before, 'the couple' is Max and Jasmine.

no advice please