nov. 17, 2012. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'yes this again.

I've relapsed. For the 1st day or 2 of my period I'm really not hungry. But I was relapsing even before that. I didn't eat for 2 days. And he's trrying to figure out why. or, he was, rather. when he was here. He told me to eat at least 1 thing a day. yes and we're going back to that again.

It's just. so very frustrating. cause just when I think I've comegone so far. this happens. I think when I say I've 'mostly recovered' from anorexia. that "this" kindof thing won't happen. and maybe i'm wrong here. I just don't allow it to.

I've been dizzy, my back's hurt, I've been having trouble breathing. as he once put it 'i don't think it's just anxiety'. and no it's really not.

I know why it's happening. I know exactly why.