nov. 17, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'about me/it says.that./only time will tell/don't feel like i'm settling/family knows.

Right so as put.

And yet I'm still w/ him despite the fact that he's scared me twice. It's been few and far between. Now what does that say about me? Well I know exactly what. It says.that. I care more about him than I do me. and yes in a way thank god for that. even I'm not that selfish. [ok now that makes it sound like i'm being judgemental..............yeah]. No leaving someone isn't selfish. It's just.idk, different.

and maybe that's not such a good thing sometimes, that I care more about others than I do me.

Sure he says he won't say that again. And  he hasn't. But we also haven't had any fights like that. But only time will tell. People say a lot of things.

And it doesn't feel like I'm settling untill I getfind somebody better. bc he is that 'better'! even w/ all this.

And honestly, a reason I haven't left him is bc apparently my family knows about him. well they know we're together. And I don't talk to my family. and by 'family' I mean relatives. And the less they know the better. and no one knows that. well but i'm sure now people do.