ptsd. sex abuse. cab. bar. what i remember. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. it's been almost 2 yrs. since I was last sexually abused. I don't remember a whole helluva lot about that night. it was dec. 22nd, 20.......... [um well I was 25 and i'll be 27 next month so.......] 12. I mean 2012*.

I remember. what happened when we got to my place [I, was sexually abused at least 3 times that night]. I remember I seduced him. [which meant I had the power. and yet he still.......did. what he did. this severely bothers me. actually the whole damn thing severely bothers me]. I vaguely remember the cab.

it's what I don't remember that scares me. cause what if he did more? I want to know but I also don't.