he's pushing me away bc he's scared. i'm keeping him for that same reason. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

oh 'he' being evan.

yeah he feels the same way I do about the whole Pat.thing. only he's pushing me away bc he's scared of losing someone else which. well he's doing just that by pushing me away. by driving me away w/ his words. by making me feel [and yes I realise that i'm choosing to feel this way. yeah but he contributed] worthless. undeserving. if that's what he's actually trying to do then he's starting to do a helluva job.

[either that or i'm just always as of late looking for a push to be this way. well......um.........]

I get he's scared. I get at least that much. and he has good enough reason to be. I get it. I just don't like it.